HEAVY METO UNIVERSE!

The nineteenth seal of the Roboplastic Apocalypse meets its repulsively delicious end at the hands of an alien lobster with his brain falling out of his mouth! Yes it's another fifty minute barrage of me talking to myself about aliens, Micronauts, Micronaut aliens, Interchangeables, Micronautical Interchangeables and Interchangeable Micronauticals and other nauts and bots with swappable parts and maybe even a Spaceknight or two gets mentioned. Are you a Slithery Skinned Invader from the Remote World of Visceros or are you just happy to see me? Find out in this WHERE DO MICRONAUTS GET RECOLORED WHEN THEY DIE edition of the Podcastalypse!


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HEY ANYONE GOT AN EXTRA $250,000? I REALLY LIKE THAT ALIEN ELEPHANT ROCKET TANK PAINTING

Service Merchandise 09/07/86	Best 12/19/85

NO GOOD ROBOID GOES UNRECOLORED

The great Bill Mantlo once wrote that "An idea has to evolve or it begins to repeat itself" and ironically this was proven true by the very toyline he helped popularize in the late 70s-the Micronauts. The Mego Micronauts line died after its parent company went bankrupt but that would not be the end of the toys. Various rehashings of the Micronauts molds have been popping up on the shelves ever since the 1980s and surprisingly there have been as many relaunches and redecos as there have been companies that owned the toys, but never any new additions to the line! Perhaps the most notorious of all were the strangely colored line of Micronaut figures and vehicles released under The Interchangeables banner in 1984. The Interchangeables lasted for two series with the second series consisting of the exact same toys as the first, just in different colors! Even stranger was how the packaging shows each series was released by a different company. What was going on here? Has there ever been another toy robot line that has bounced from company to company and been reissued and recolored as many times as the Micronauts have? I DO NAUT KNOW!

TRU 22 November 1984	TRU 05 December 1984

200 BUCKS FOR ONE STILL IN THE BOX? YOU CAN'T BE C.I.R.E.S.!

Service Merchandise 03 November 1985	Service Merchandise 06 December 1984

SHOW NOTES OF THE PODCASTALYPSE

TRU 12/11/85 crappy ad of the month

Zayre 11/03/85

• Absolutely no old toy robots gnus
• Rom artbook in the works from IDW
• Spacenite 2 tribute to Bill Mantlo
• Spacenite artworks
• Original Ken Kelley Micronaut package paintings up for sale on ebay
• Know your Micronaut aliens!
• Ken Kelley interview at Innerspace Online
• Michael Golden coming to Wizard World Miami
• Michael Golden interview at Comic Zone Radio (Ctr+F search for "Golden")
• Michael Golden interview at Innerspace
• The continuing saga of the Starrior Thing
• More than anyone would ever want to know about Starrior Runabout knockoffs
• Run about at play time with the Playtime Runabout
• The story of a family (that turned into laser guns) divided by war (between Tonka and Hasbro)
• The Skywarp bop bag ad that's hard to catch as Skywarp is
• Raksha's Transformer artifacts list
• Break-The Interchangeables!
• Takara toy robots history will be your grandkids' bedtime stories
• Early attempts at resurrecting the Micronauts
• PAC Toys' Lords of Light
• Interview with Joe Ruzzi, founder of PAC Toys
• End the light, start the bright (recolors)
• The mystery of the companies behind The Interchangeables
• Metallion is the greatest robot horse name ever
• Interchangeables auctions on eBay

It's RoGun, it's existentialism-It's RoGuNentialism!

Albertsons 12/06/84

Looking back there are a couple of things I did as a kid in the 80s that are totally not how I would have done things if the me of today were in charge. There were choices my childhood self made like collecting Transformer comics after 1988 and never shoplifting a RoGun from Lionel Playworld that I would do differently if I could have another shot at the 80s. But unlike most people who wish to relive their past as it happened in their youth, my time travel fantasies involve my brain inhabiting a clone of my younger self so we could both coexist alongside each other. But if I could be ten sized again with my current brain and go back in time to meet my ten year old self, would we get along at all? And more importantly, who would win in a fight?

ToysRUs 11/20/85	TG&Y 11/10/85

IF I WAS ME BACK THEN I THINK I WOULD HAVE LOVED A ROGUN, AND I WAS BUT I DIDN'T SO I MUST HAVE BEEN SOMEONE ELSE

In retrospect I'll admit that my younger self was smart to continue collecting Transformers comics up until '91. I remember not really liking those books near the end but I kept going as if guided by some future knowledge that one day I would love them. So for that I am grateful. But him not appreciating RoGun (the robot that is a gun) confounds me. Are we really that different, the me of today and the me of yesterday? I wish I could show him/me that RoGun wasn't as stupid as I/he thought it was. And if I could go back and sneak a RoGun under the Christmas tree as a present to myself, what would happen (beside reality collapsing in on itself in a tremendous cataclysm because of the same soul existing in two different bodies at the same time)? This conundrum is why I'm sure time travel never gets invented before I die-because if it were, then people like me would be using it to do dumb stuff like buy themselves RoGuns and put them under their Christmas trees in 1984

Albertsons 12/13/84

(and destroy the earth). But maybe all my lack of RoGun really proves is that if time travel was invented before I died, it was never made affordable for cheap-o bastardos like me.

ENLIGHTENMENT IS A BIZARRE FORM OF STUPIDITY FROM THE VIEWPOINT OF THE UNENLIGHTENED

But even if I could afford it, that still doesn't mean my younger self would want the RoGun. RoGun may have just been an idea so far ahead of its time that only now decades later can I truly appreciate it. In other words, it took me 36 years to get this special level of enlightenment (or in the eyes of my ten year old self, this special level of stupid). But now that I realize my younger self would think my older self is dumb for liking RoGun I might never want to go back in time. Ultimately if I were me (and I am) I would be embarrassed to meet my 10 year old self and show him how terribly wrong he turned out.

KMart 11/18/84	Family Dollar 11/05/86

THE ONLY THING MORE EMBARRASSING THAN BEING BEATEN UP BY A TEN YEAR OLD IS BEING BEATEN UP BY YOUR TEN YEAR OLD SELF

I guess that's what the internet is for-a second chance to retroactively rewrite my childhood 25 years later by buying crap I didn't know I liked 25 years ago from some guy I've never met in my life. I wonder if my collecting old toy robots is some sort subconscious attempt at impressing my younger self who I will never meet. Maybe all of my adulthood has been spent preparing for the possibility that someone invents time travel in 1984 and sends my ten year old self into the future to meet me. Then I would show the me of yesterday my robots and hope he's impressed by my collection of 25 year old things, most of which I didn't own until 10 years ago. But it's funny because I now realize I'm afraid of what he might think. I don't have to wonder who would win in a fight-my ten year old self has been beating me up for years! But if I ever do get to meet ten year old me and the universe doesn't implode from the event and erase all of reality, I would like to tell him before he returns to 1984 that he was smart to keep collecting those Transformer comics and if he wants to shoplift anything, I really wouldn't mind seeing a RoGun under the Christmas tree in 2012.

TRIBUTE TO TRON! (also -bot, -roid and other great 80's toy robot name suffixes)

The eighteenth seal of the Roboplastic Apocalypse disintegrates in a blinding flash like a high speed virtual rocket sled being driven by Santa Claus into a giant glowing wall of 1982 special effects in this TRIBUTE TO TRON (but not that one). Listen in horrific excitement as the Nostrodomatron extols the virtues of the greatest technological suffix of all time! Yes it's twenty minutes of talking about -TRON, the special combination of four little letters that made it possible for prefixes like mega-, robo-, power-, charger- and Nostrodoma- to have careers during the Toy Robots Wars of the 1980s. Plus a José Delbo update, new developments in the StarriorThing contoversy and I review some toy robot appearances in magazines from 1984 and '85. All this and more in a very special non-denominational TRONSFORM and ROLL OUT edition of the podcastalypse!


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THE FIRST RULE OF TRON NAME IS YOU DO NOT USE TRON IN YOUR NAME

There's a scene in Fight Club where Tyler Durden says sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken. I'm reminded of that a lot when I come across ad after ad of 80s robot toylines with names that end in -tron. Tron is like pepper-it should only be sparsely used to add flavor to your 1980s toy robot pizza. The Transformers and GoBots only had a handful of -tron names for they knew the power of the tron suffix. To give an entire product line the -tron suffix is to abuse the power of -tron. Without a Tyler Durden in 1984, these third rate robots marketers did not understand that sticking -tron on the butt of your robot name does not make you Bob Budiansky. I like my version better than Tyler Durden's because I never could figure out why anyone would want to be a chicken.

Family Mart 11/5/84	Fishers 12/05/84	TG&Y 11/10/85

ToysRUs 12/15/1985	Toys&Gifts Outlet 12/15/85

IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, TRON, TRON AGAIN

American toy company Buddy L didn't have the greatest track record when it came to naming toy robots lines (or making them, either). They're the company behind the most obvious and cliched robot fad cash-in name ever-"Robo Tron". Just when I thought I'd never hear a worse name I found this one ad for a Buddy-L robot line named Robotor. Holy crap is that awful. The ad appeared in late '84 around the time the first Robo Tron ads started popping up. What's really great is the Robotor robots look exactly like the designs used for the Robo Trons. It's possible that instead of actually making better robots, Buddly-L figured the key to success was changing their product name from Robotor to Robo Tron. Although Robo Tron is pretty lame I must admit it was a good move because Robotor makes RoGun sound like divine inspired marketing advice from whoever came up with "Optimus Prime". Still I am thankful for this ad and the 1984 Buddy L marketing team because without them the world would never know how close it came to a toyline named "Robotard".

Lucky 12/13/84	Consumers 11/10/85

Time 10/01/84

Penny Power Apr/May '85

SHOW NOTES OF THE PODCASTALYPSE

• Non-specific multi-denominational 80s toy robot christmas commercial
• Opening poem-"The Roboplastic Podcastalypse" (Non-denominational X-Mas version)
• Without -tron there would be no -tronians
• I get all my word origins from Bob Budiansky interviews
• Zeroids issue 2 came out
• The StarriorThing mystery deepens
• José Delbo's upcoming con appearances and his binder of old Transformer paperwork
• Mark Texiera will be at Wizard World Miami
• Another internet presence I will never maintain-The RoboFacial Bookocalypse
• Kilby has summoned me here for a purpose
• Zeroids break
• Ripping out pages from magazines at the dentist office in 1984
• Hot Toys with a Special Twist from TIME Ocotber 1, 1984
• Penny Power's legendary toy robots article from late '84
• Penny Power's not so legendary toy robots article from early '85
• I review Penny Power's reviews of Verbot, Varton, Starriors Deadeye, the Zoids Giant Zrk and other great unpopular toy robots that weren't -Trons
• Fulfilling your sub teen prehistoric robot tyrannosaurs fantasies
• If you can't say something good about robots, then write for Penny Power
• The only rant about Robotroid instruction sheets in the history of the universe
• Mysterious C.I.T.S. of Old

Shut up and let me see your Jazz hands!

Man the new My Chemical Romance record is friggin' fantastic. After two huge disappointments in the last Iron Maiden and Helloween albums things weren't looking too good for our hero but then MCR came in and saved the day. There's a line in the first single off Danger Days ((Na Na Na) Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)) that reminded me I had a Universal Studios ad I dug up too late to include in my Transformer Days '85 post extravaganza. So yeah I pre-ordered the California edition and there was a delay because the plastic ray guns weren't ready yet but they let me download the CD when it came out. So I'm waiting for that box to come in soon because I can't wait to do my talking with a laser beam.

Universal Studios 23 June 1985

THE HOLIDAY CRUSH!

The seventeenth seal of the Roboplastic Apocalypse snaps like so many people's limbs on the day after Thanksgiving as they get trampled by rabid mobs of toy robots seeking shoppers! Thrill to the adventures of the Nostrodomatron as I travel back in time to black Friday 198X in my insatiable quest to expose shopping season mysteries like why advertising Transformers in December of '84 was a recipe for broken bones and whether or not GoBots controlled the media. Plus a trip to a local comic book store to look at old toy robots (but not buy them) and discussion of the two greatest toy robots newspaper ads ever. It's DARK OF THE SATURDAY in the Kingdom Roboplastico and you're invited! (All you have to do is wake up early 26 years ago.)


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Circus World 28 November-The best ad of '84...	...because of the back page!

SHOW NOTES OF THE PODCASTALYPSE

Toys R Us 06 November 1985-The best ad ever!

• Opening poem-"The Roboplastic Podcastalypse" (Fort Lauderdaliens version)
• Toy Planet is the coolest store IN THE UNIVEEEEEERSE
• Some guys go to Tate's
• Somewhere a Snarf fan wonders why nobody's buying Grendizers
• The seven pound Luchadoratron
• Some guys talk about Shogun Warriors
• Mr. Big's Toyland
• Salute to Katherine Van Hart
• No toystores for old robots
• OH GOD IT WAS A PLAYWORLD ROBOTRONS COMMERCIAL (pause it at 1:47 and look under the He-Mans)
• Plus the greatest toy robots newspaper ads runners up ever...
• Honorable mention #1-Robinsons 30 November 1984
• Honorable mention #2-Zayre 14 October 1984

IN SPACE robot pajamas NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM for your mommy because Optimus Prime is dead

I owned very few articles of Transformer clothing as a kid. I remember having Slag socks, an Optimus Prime hat and shirts of Soundwave and Optimus Prime. Only the Soundwave shirt and Optimus hat remain to this day-the others are either lost or in a landfill somewhere. Maybe my Optimus Prime baseball hat should've been thrown away a long time ago (like in 1987) seeing how ratty and worn it is. But like I say, old toy robots mementos are the right of all robotarded sentient thirtysomethings.

UNFORTUNATELY, ADS FOR ROBO FORCE COWBOY HAT ELUDE ME

As I'm searching through old newspapers I occasionally come across ads for the odd GoBots sweater or Dinobots pajamas, but any sort of ad for licensed toy robots clothing that is not Voltron underwear is still rather rare. That's why I was very excited to find a series of Transformers ads that Mervyns ran from about July through October of 1985. At least once a month there'd be a page in the weekly Mervyns flyer featuring drawings of kids wearing Transformer pajamas or shirts. They ran ads for every shirt I remembered having as a kid! (Plus my Slag socks make a cameo.) Strangely, they did not run ads for Dinobot pajamas. Apparently Dinobot pajamas were too low class for the discerning Mervyns shopper.
MERVYNS-THE PLACE WHERE TEENAGE VAMPIRES BOUGHT THEIR CLOTHES IN 1985 (BUT JUST THE PETITE ONES)

Here then is a little gallery of Mervyns Transformer clothing ads from 1985-a time when anybody larger than a 12 year old didn't have a place to shop if they wanted to wear shirts with toy robots cartoons on them. (Thank teenage Jesus for Hot Topic I guess.) There aren't a lot of different styles shown and some get repeated but any pictorial documentation of this kind of Transformer artifact is rather rare so it's still a bit of a treat. Plus some of the goofy faces the kids are making are funny. I imagine the artwork is traced from actual photographs, which would explain the lack of detail in the shirt designs when compared to the actual shirts. What we're looking at here are essentially drawings of drawings and some designs (like the one for the thermal underwear in the last ad) are hard to make out. But I think they still did a good job. If anyone had the Transformers thermal underwear in 1984 could you explain who the robots pictured on it were? Better yet, take a picture of them and send it to me or something. Then immediately burn your nasty used 25 year old Transformer pajamas like you should've done back in 1987.

Mervyns 07/08/85

Mervyns 08/05/85	Mervyns 08/19/85

Mervyns 08/23/85	Mervyns 09/02/85

Mervyns 09/30/85

Mervyns 10/14/85	Optimus, Sunstreaker and ???

SMURFY ROBOT SUPER STORIES!

The sixteenth seal of the Roboplastic Apocalypse is broken in Smurftastic fashion when special guest Jim Salicrup conquers the Kingdom Roboplastico! While currently Editor-in-Chief of graphic novel publisher Papercutz, Mr. Salicrup is also known for his legendary career at Marvel Comics during which he became a veteran of the Toy Robots Wars of the 1980s! Listen with excitement as he recounts a time when nobody knew what a Megatron was and writing Transformer comics was kind of like being Spider-Man. All this plus my complicated and confusing time travel analogies involving telescopes in this YOU CAN SEE 1984 FROM HERE edition of the Roboplastic Podcastalypse! It's Smurfy!


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SHOW NOTES OF THE PODCASTALYPSE

• Bob Budiansky's role in the Transformers
• Getting hired-picking up after Bill Mantlo left the Transformers comic in the planning stages
• Why Mr. Salicrup favored writing new or unknown titles over established Marvel favorites
• Along comes a Spider-Man
ToysRUs 10/03/85

• Writing what you know even when you're writing alien robots nobody knows
• Hasbro's initial reluctance to approve the Spider-Man cameo in Transformers #3
• A bittersweet departure after writing the Transformers comic
• Memories of Frank Springer
• The fun (and trouble) with writing Transformers in Marvel continuity
• Watching Japanese animation in the 60s
• Contrasting the comic properties of Bionicle and Transformers
• Adapting another foreign born franchise-the Smurfs-for US comic audiences
• How Papercutz handles licenses with previous unreleased (in the US) comic material and those with little or no comic material at all
• Why the Totally Spies book got totally canceled
• The post-movie future of the Smurfs at Papercutz
• The self perpetuating popularity of perennially popular properties
• How comics at various levels of sophistication have become more segregated since the 80s
• The end of the road