Monday, June 18, 2007

Purging the grapes PART 2: Mr. Kim probably realized he owned a toy robot that turned into a rabbit

I remember once when I was in Korea I was on a bus going from one army camp to another when an Army lieutenant sitting in front of me struck up a conversation with the other Army guy sitting next to him. The not-a-lieutenant Army guy was talking about a Korean businessman that suicided by jumping off a building in downtown Seoul for unknown reasons. Not-a-lieutenant was puzzled over how certain life events can trigger such drastic actions. Well it turns out the lieutenant was a psychiatrist and he whipped out what he called his 'theory of shit tolerance'. He said as humans we're all born with different levels of patience, restraint and adaptability. While some people can endure extreme physical and psychological tortures (like playing the Transformer Your Summer contest), others suffer severe psychotic breaks when subjected to even the most trivial crap that happens (like whenever someone says movie Bumblebee is a '74 Camaro and I kill all the Tusken Raiders in the village, even the younglings).

My latest feelings of self-stupid arise from my last round of ebaying. I totally screwed up all the shipping charges by estimating them too low. After I'm finished sending all these toy robots out, I will be around $60 in the hole. Apparently I set new post office records for how physically large a three pound box can be. So intimidated was the USPS by my three pound boxes that they charged me the 16 pound box rate after I already told my buyers I'd ship at the cheaper rate. That sucks but looking at how I ended up making over $800 on silly toy robots auctions I guess I can eat $60. I still feel dumb, though, because a lot of people got some really great deals on shipping on the toys they grossly overpaid me too much for. I guess that's where the concept of shit tolerance comes in. My problems may be stupid but they still make me feel really retarded.

I thought it would be a lot harder to say goodbye to these toys, especially the Botcon '06 attendee exclusives, but it really wasn't. I just kept thinking about my goal of making space and money for other toy robots that better express my 'materialist philosophy'. Energon Ultra Magnus and the Space Team minicons just weren't making the statement I wanted to make about licensed dysfunction. I must rebuild my shrine to anal retentiveness with new stronger collonades of Takara Music Label Soundwave and Masterpiece Convoys, lest I jump off of buildings in downtown Seoul because my collection of toy robots was not defining me well enough as a person.

6 comments:

Heavyarms said...

Wait, I thought Bumblebee WAS going to be a '74 Camaro. Did I miss something?

That poor shelf look's like it's going to buckle, Lemme help you lighten your load.

Why don't you just do what all the guys I buy from on eBay, and put that little clause that says "Buyer will pay actual shipping costs to be determined after the auction closes and I know where it's going"?

Evil King Macrocranios said...

It turns out Movie Bumblebee is actually a '72 Pacer.

You cannot have the Stampy!

Rob said...

You must watch this:

cosplay transformers video

I'm surprised those wackos dressed up as Constructicons didn't figure out a way to merge into Devastator.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

i'LL DO YOU ONE BETTER.

Rob said...

These Optimus Prime helmet pictures are very funny. Those guys are obviously hard core fans, but how many are hard core enough to actually change their names to Optimus Prime? This guy:

Optimus Prime the human

Evil King Macrocranios said...

My verdict: overcompensating for tiny weiner

 

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