Friday, May 11, 2007

And after I gave the girl the money she looked at both of us really weird.

SO the other day I was at Wal-Mart buying Transformers. All that matters for this story is that the two I bought were from the Alternators line so they're packaged in car mode and they look like 1:24 scale models of real cars so cashiers don't give me as much crap about buying them like they would if I was buying the other Transformers that look like fighter jets from the Teletubby air force.

The Alternators have robot forms that are homages to the 1980's toy robots so anyone who grew up with those will recognize the character art on the Alternator packages. I wasn't surprised when the guy behind me in line picked up one of the toys I was going to buy so he could check it out. Most toy collecting nerds would go ballistic if you picked up their toys while in line behind them, but I'm not that way. Instead I just run away afraid at the first sign of an adult showing interest in toy robots. But this guy looked to be in his mid to late 20's and he didn't know what Transformers were, so that automatically made him cool in my book.

That was, until he opened his mouth. I figured we had a lot in common because of our ages and I started trying to explain to him what Alternators were. He looked to be impressed with them but then he asked the most retarded question ever. After I told him how awesome it was that these were officially licensed by the vehicle manufacturers and they look like the characters in the old cartoon, he came back with, "Do they have die cast?" And my mind shut down and I yelled, "What the hell are you some kind of metallurgist? Want me to break out the periodic table and analyze the plastic content of freakin toys? Shut the hell up you freak! How old are you, twelve? Who gives a shit! You're just going to put them next to your boxes and boxes of Hustler magazines anyway, jerk!"

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