HELLO MY FELLOW FLORIDIAN SUPERCONONIANS

Florida Supercon starts tomorrow! As you can see from the little personalized schedule widget thingy below, I am trying to pack my weekend with as much José Delbo, Denny O' Neil, Roy Tomas, Gregg Berger, Bill Sienkiewicz, and Alan Oppenheimer as possible.



I NEED TO BE MORE INTERESTING TO OTHERS WHEN I'M TALKING TO MYSELF

I tried to get into the Supercon mood by re-listening to the podcastalypse I recorded there last year. While the interviews with Ken Lashley and Gregg Berger were pretty cool, I think the parts where I was doing the solo con reporting could have been a little more interesting. So here's to hoping the podcastalypse I'm recording this weekend at Florida Supercon 2012 comes out a whole lot better (and also that Larry "Lion-O" Kenney forgets all those uncomfortable questions I asked him during his panel last year!)

This site is outrageous!

Remember last year when I talked about how cool that Jem site with all the Jem-specific Hasbro catalog scans was? And how fantastic it would be if someone would do the same for Transformers-scan the pages of the Hasbro Toy Fair catalogs relating to them on a Transformer specific site? Well some other Jem site owner did it! It's called BOTRIOT and it contains G1 era scans of Hasbro Toy Fair and pre-Toyfair catalogs from '86 through 1990. Go check it out if you're into prototypes, line art or just generally pictures of old toy robots.

The Irresistible Force meets the Immovable Cheapness: How I became Darth Vader's Stingy Apprentice

Today was a triumphant day in the Kingdom of Macrocrania as a saga that has played out for over a year has finally come to an end with my armies of patience and cheapness victoriously overcoming the manipulative marketing practices of the mighty Lucas empire. My fellow Macrocranians, this is not one of those "look what I found at Wal-Mart" self congratulatory wank off posts I goof on others for doing, nor is it a "look how awesome this game is I beat it in 35 minutes on super hard Jedi level OMG TROPHIES ACCOMPLISHMENTS" game review. It can't be any of those because I got it at Best Buy and I suck at games anyways. This instead is a self congratulatory wank off about how I waited so long to buy the Force Unleashed that not only did the price eventually come down like I wanted it to, but as if to appease me and admit defeat in the face of my unending fountain of patience and cheapness the Lucas Empire reissued it with extra levels and a shiny tin box. Although "The Ultimate Sith Edition" pissed off countless Star Wars historians who bought the game the first time, it made my victory all the more sweet. Kind of like how if Darth Vader didn't explode Alderraan then blowing up the Death Star would just make Luke a gigantic a-hole. I salute you, pissed off original Force Unleashed buyers-you are the Alderaanian consumer sacrifices that make my victory over LucasArts all the more sweet.

A LONG TIME AGO, IN A RAPID CITY FAR, FAR AWAY...

But to understand why I am so brilliant we must first go back to my choice to buy a Playstation 3. I did so for the same reason I bought every other post Turbografx-16 console in my life-I was hoping for a Transformer game and a Star Wars game. Well the Transformer game based on the first Michael Bay movie came out and I paid 60 bucks for it. Then after a while that same game was selling at Toys R Us for 20 bucks! I thought to myself-at 35 years old why am I still acting like a rabid teenage consumer zombie who has to have everything the first day? That behavior just cost me 40 bucks! So I swore that when the Star Wars game I wanted came out, instead of buying it the first day I would wait. That's not to say I wasn't tempted from day one because I was but then in just a few short months stores like Target began discounting the price to as low as $40 right after last Christmas. I had faith my strategy would work. Then the unbelievable happened and it was announced there would be a super special "Sith" edition of the game with a few extra levels and I thought-HOLY HELL A SPECIAL EDITION OF SOMETHING STAR WARS? HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT COMING?

IN RETAIL "ULTIMATE" DOESN'T MEAN THE FINAL ONE, JUST "THE ONE WITH MORE STUFF THAN THE PREVIOUS ONE"

Starting last month "The Force Unleashed: Ultimate Sith Edition" began showing up in stores around here. The kicker was that it was a super bonus edition of the original game but it only cost $40! I guess they made their money. I was still reluctant to buy it because the possibility remained that they'd release an even more super duper limited edition that would eventually go on clearance, but I had waited long enough. I began noticing that stores still had so many copies of the original Force Unleahed and the new unspecial "greatest hits" reissue version of it that "The Sith Edition" was looking way underordered. I never saw it at Toys R Us or Target (whose site says it is not available in stores), FYE sold out of it almost immediately and recently Best Buy pulled the PS3 version from their site altogether. Then they began disappearing from the shelves locally and I started freaking out. I consider myself lucky for finding a copy in this post Black Friday consumer wasteland where stores stop getting merchandise I guess because they think nobody's shopping so close to Christmas. Some people who bought the original game think the new version will be around long enough to go clearance but I really really doubt it. If you thought Darth Vader was pissed off when they told him he killed his wife then you should wait to see Star Wars fans when the stockboy tells them there aren't any more Forces Unleashed Sith Edition. Stuff will get broken. Robots will be smushed.

I USED TO KILL LUKE SKYWALKER IN OTHER GAMES ALL THE TIME BUT THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS PLAYING BADLY

So all ends well in the kingdom thanks to my new economic policy of cheapskate procrastination. I picked up the very last copy from a Best Buy 15 miles from my house, which was kind of a pain but hey you don't get to be hero of the galaxy if you never leave Tatooine. The next two weeks will be most enjoyable as thanks to Force Unleashed Super Special Sith Edition I finally get to beat Luke Skywalker's ass, making myself (the mexican Luke Skywalker) the predominate Luke Skywalker of this dimension (or at least of South Florida). I will miss my family as every second of my free time gets swallowed by the Sarlaac Pit of Star Warsian adventure trying to discover who let the Force out. But most of all I will miss you, my fellow Macrocranians. However do not fear! I shall return on Christmas like Jesus did hopefully with a little something special for everybody (unless I don't and then the only Jesus I will be like is Disappointing Jesus). But at least I will be happy playing Star Wars and that's all that matters.

Orlando system? YES, ORLANDO SYSTEM

Welcome to Florida, Star Wars Celebration V. Unlike some of my other conventions, you never fail to let me know when you're happening. How nice it is to have so much heads up so early, plus online registration beginning next week. It's the 30th anniversary of Empire Strikes Back! I LOVE YOU I KNOW.

GUESS WHO'S COMING TO SUPER(con)

Animation Supercon is a convention going on here over the weekend I'm thinking about going to. I'm somewhat interested because it'll be the first big pop culture con in the Miami area since I came to south Florida a couple months ago. Of the two I've been to so far I've liked the free one (Yasumicon) the best and I felt a little burned by the one I paid $35 for (Mizucon). But its hard to complain about anything since I've been able to get pictures with guys dressed up in cardboard Gundam costumes each time. Any con I can meet my fellow robotards at is a good one. Hell, I'd go to My Little Pony conventions if I was sure I could get pictures with somebody in a Voltron costume made of cereal boxes.

TALK TO THE HAND! (OF SUPERION)

The Supercon is not without guests I'd like to see. Although the voice actors are pretty much the cast of Futurama and Pinky and the Brain, there is some old school Autobotic overlap. The characters they played weren't exactly a-list robots in the Transfromer wars but they had some memorable lines. Rob Paulsen alone was a couple Aerialbots, a Throttlebot, one Autobot Clone and Blurr's gun. Maurice LaMarche was Six-Gun, the guy made up of the leftover accessories you had when you turned Metroplex into a robot. Okay so it's not Botcon level celebrity but Slingshot got the best Aerialbot characterization and Air Raid and Six-Gun were in one of my favorite Transformers episodes ever-the third season's Thief in the Night. Plus there's the guy who played Jazz in the latest cartoon. I'd love to get pictures or maybe even autographs but the problem is this is one of those cons where you have to pay $20 an autograph and $30 a picture because these actors have big followings from their roles in shows more popular than their Transformers work. Apparently there is a world of animation outside of robots cartoons I was unaware of. But screw that, I won't pay an arm and a leg to hang with with an arm and a leg of Superion.

WHEN ALL HELL'S BREAKING LOOSE YOU'LL BE SEWING THE EYES ON A GREEN PLUSHY STEGOSAURUS

At first I was scared when I saw the schedule but thankfully it looks to be more, much more than speed dating, raves, cosplay and Pokemon hookers. There will be the TRANSFORMERS PANEL OF AWESOME, which sounds like a) something Michael Bay would name a panel or b) something I should name a really good shelf on my wall. Either way I admire the ballsines of whoever named that-it's good promotion. It also makes it easier to decide what to do if there's anything named "TRANSFORMERS PANEL OF FAIL" running at the same time.

I do feel a little torn because during the Transformer panel there's another one going on about how to sew little felt animal dolls. I am not kidding about being interested in this. Ever since I bought a plush Ravage at Botcon '08 I've wanted to learn how to sew my own stuffed animal Decepticon cassette mascot army. Alternatively I could just buy a book about sewing and go to the Transformer panel, but I could also just buy a book about Transformers and go to the sewing panel. I wonder if there's really anything new left to say about Transformers that I haven't heard a million times already over the past 25 years. The sewing panel could be my introduction to a whole new world of robot fun, though. Trading Transformers talk for a sewing sermon? How Tyler Durden in a Martha Stewart way. The things I transformed ended up transforming me-into my grandma.

The wages of Shin is about 35 dollars

A new Tranzor-Z cartoon in Japan came out called "Shin Mazinger Z-Hen" and I know you're thinking, Hey that sounds like it translates into 'Tranzor-Z Chicken Show'. I was thinking the same thing and that's why I haven't seen it yet but it comes highly recommended by a blogger I like who's smart about Japanimation. The big news is it's getting shown at the convention I'm going to this weekend. Yeah, I decided to pre-reg for the Mizucon because although I am 35 and have nothing in common with the anime crowd and I have no idea who the guests are and me attending this convention sounds like a big train wreck, the programming in the video room looks robotastic. With two days to go the organizers still haven't uploaded any panel info so I don't know if I'm going to have a reason for going beyond cartoons and the dealer room. Hell, I don't even know when the convention is starting. It sounds like chaos but don't worry, my fellow Macrocranians. Even if I have to bribe a Pokemon hooker I will figure out where I need to be to watch Tranzor-Z Chicken Show and two other Japanimations I've been interested in seeing at the con-Detroit Metal City and Gundam 00. It may seem kind of dumb to pay what comes out to 12 bucks a day to sit in a room watching cartoons that might suck (and that I could torrent for free) but I will keep an open mind. I don't want to rocket punch my chickens before they hatch.

New Mizurable Experience

Optimus Lime broke down again so I've been using the bus and metrorail train to get back and forth from the library. Saturday night I got off the train and found I had to decide between waiting an hour for the 15 minute bus ride home or I could just walk an hour and 15 minutes myself. Either way would take an hour and fifteen minutes. Just waiting an hour doing nothing seemed like an enormous waste of time but walking three miles in the steamy hell wasn't exactly my idea of fun, either. I decided to walk. The situation paralleled how I would like to go to an upcoming anime convention starting August 28 called Mizucon but they haven't put up their panel schedule yet. I can either keep that weekend open in the hope they have roboplastic related stuff, or I can plan now to do something else with that weekend like take the family to the aquarium. I've always said being 35 with the hobby of a ten year old is harder than it looks.

ROCK ME LIKE A FURRICANE

I don't know why but panels always end up the last thing conventions reveal about their programming, and usually only a week or two before the show. Boy was I shocked when I found there's another nearby convention called Chibi-Pa starting September 4 and they already have their panel schedule up! I can see right now they'll have a Gundam model building class run by a guy called Skippy. Not only that, but they'll have a furry-themed subset of panels in a special room called the FURRICANE SHELTER. I'm honestly interested in some of these panels like "History of Furry" and "Saturday Morning FurToons" (and to a lesser extent "How to Make a Fur Suit"). Plus they'll also be showing the classic movies "Animalympics" and "Rock-A-Doodle". Any Transformer fans goofing on these guys need to shut the hell up because in 10 years it'll be Beast Wars being shown at Furricane 2020.

WINNING A CROISSANWICH AND OTHER UNUSED VERSES OF ALANIS MORISSETTE'S IRONIC SONG

Remember how I made the decision to walk home from the train station? Well 20 minutes into my walk the bus I needed to be on passed me by. It wasn't the bus I would have waited for, it was a late one I thought left already. Boy was I pissed off as I walked for the next hour. If I commit to going to the aquarium August 28 before the panel schedule shows up and Mizucon ends up being awesome I'm going to be equally pissed. Right now that panel schedule is like a renegade bus going by when I'm already walking home. Also when I was walking home I found one of those Burger King cups with an unused scratch off Transformer game piece lying on the side of the road and I scratched the correct side and I won. I don't know how that fits within the Mizucon analogy but I thought it was pretty cool. Except the Burger King game is over.

To 'FO or not to 'FO?

Another anime convention called Anime Festival Orlando is happening this weekend about a four hour drive from where I'm at. I'm pretty excited about being in a place with so much convention action and I would really like to go. The problem is IF I went I'd only be able to do Saturday so they'd have to have a bunch of roboplastic content to justify me spending the over $300 for food, the one day pass, hotel and shuttle ride to and from Orlando. Not to mention going would cost me time I could be spending at the library looking for old toy robots ads. So the question I'm needing to decide tonight is should I stay or should I 'FO?

The panel schedule's been posted and I've narrowed down what I'd be interested in seeing Saturday:

10am - Giant Robots, Old and New / Palm Salon F,G - Carlos Romero
DESCRIPTION:"Remember when children had to pilot the super robot from the outside? Remember when that disgruntled German girl had to mind-meld with her robot to get it to operate? Super robots have been around for a long, long time. Join us for a super robot-powered trip down memory lane!"

This one sounds pretty good but I wonder if it'll be more than a clip show that doesn't do much beyond showing the opening credits of a couple famous robot cartoons from the early eighties. This is the weakest draw for me but at least it's robots.

2pm - Collecting Chokogin and other Precious Metals / Oleander A - Carlos Romero
DESCRIPTION:"Chokogin toys have been around since the '70s in Japan as a series of highly detailed die-cast robot toys. Join Carlos as he shows off pieces from his collection and discusses collecting these finely crafted machines."

This one sounds like the best reason for me to go. I would love to see someone who knows what he's talking about explain the Chokogin lineage from the very beginning, including stuff like Shogun Warriors and the Soul of Chokogin line.


4:30pm - Transformers Panel / Biscayne/Siesta - Tom Croom, Chris Duplis
DESCRIPTION:"Join Tom Croom and Chris Duplis discuss the past and future of this classic anime franchise.

I don't see how Transformers is anime but if these guys got a panel about it in an anime convention that's cool with me. I looked online to see what kind of background the panel hosts had in the Transformers scene. I guess their credibility is important to me because to me anything less than Botcon may as well be a couple guys reading Transformers message boards out loud. I found that Tom Croon has been doing this panel at multiple cons before and he even got to sing background vocals for Stan Bush earlier this year. CREDIBILITY ESTABLISHED!

FO/NO FO?

While I would really like to, I can't justify spending that much money for one really strong panel about Chokogins. The other two would be cool, but I wonder how much better they could be than an evening watching YouTube Super Robot clips or listening to my own Botcon panel recordings. So for me it's no go on AFO. Thanks for reading me think this out loud!

PRELUDE TO VINTAGE SPACE TOAST TOUR PASADENA (part 2): Unidentified Flying Robot Tyrannosaurus

As Botcon draws closer I'm wondering if my reasons for going are good ones. I usually skip every other year but this would be the first time I go two years in a row, which is strange because I'm not really as big a Transformer fan as all those other guys who have been to all the conventions and know all the robot names and have all the toys. So I feel a little out of place, but not as much as the other 51 weekends in the year where I'm surrounded by people who don't know what a Computron is. Still, to be going two years in a row makes me wonder why exactly I'm doing it. Is it for myself? Is it for my friends? Is it for my country? While other people just go on vacations for the sake of going on vacations, my robotardation turns even simple thoughts of taking a break into a Rambo poster.

EVEN SITH LORDS NEED TO GET AWAY SOMETIMES

I sometimes forget what makes toy robots conventions fun for me as I live my Darth Vader-like existence spending all my time in my meditation chamber and thinking about roboplasticos. As I was at the hobby store yesterday looking for parts to fix my crappy Star Wars kite that keeps breaking I was surrounded by hobby stuff and it stirred up some old feelings. It got me remembering how Botcon is more than just a toy show, it's my favorite break from my normal life of overseeing the construction of various Death Stars. Between being a single dad for 6 months while my wife was deployed and her return a week ago and my in-laws visiting and packing for the move and getting the house ready for inspections it has been pretty crazy lately. Sometimes I just wanna go where everybody knows what a Computron is and Botcon is one of mankind's great traditional gatherings of like-minded individuals united by some common ground, like an Iron Maiden concert or the Academy Awards or New Year's Rockin' Eve with Dick Clark. Botcon is what you do because of what you are when what you are is a fan of toy robots, like how Special Olympics is that thing you do if what you are is retarded.

IT IS HARDER TO NOT DO WHAT YOU LOVE THAN TO DO ANYTHING ELSE (OR NOTHING)

And now here in the eleventh hour as I get ready to attend the Botcon that I would usually not be going to, I am reminded of another roboplastic tradition-that of making little plastic trinkets to take with me to the show. Resin casting projects are monumental consumptions of time and I saw no way it would be possible given all the stuff going on around here, but I was in that hobby store and I just couldn't see going to Botcon without doing something-making some little trinket at least for myself to commemorate the occasion. To not do so would be an unthinkable breaking of my personal Botcon tradition! It would be a disaster! A roboplastic apocalypse! So I came up with an easy to execute idea for a refrigerator magnet based on two of the voice actor guys that will be there-the Grimlock voice guy and the Cosmos voice guy. Since all I did was smush some existing toy parts together I went from initial concept to first casting in 24 hours. That's a record for me. Once it's painted I will have something for Grimlock voice guy and Cosmos voice guy to sign and my tradition will have continued. Unfortunately so survives another tradition-the one where I'm painting stuff in my hotel room at the show because I do all this crap at the last minute.

GREGG BERGER-HE IS MORE THAN JUST A SANDWICH

Armed with my unidentified flying robot Tyrannosaurus trinket I am ready to board my Shuttle Tydirium and get on with Vintage Space Toast Tour Pasadena. Like a time capsule, these little plastic projects I make have a way of capturing memories of the era during which they were created. So for years hence whenever I go to the refrigerator to make a sandwich I will remember clearly this crazy point in time filled with house inspections and visiting in-laws when I went to Botcon 2009 anyways to get Gregg Berger and Michael McConnohie to sign my refrigerator magnet. Because sometimes a guy just wants to get away to someplace cool where there's robots. I UNDERSTAND NOW WHY DARTH VADER WENT TO HOTH.

PRELUDE TO VINTAGE SPACE TOAST TOUR PASADENA (part 1): The infectious enthusiasm of those who have eaten lunch with Ultra Magnus

Roboplastic ApocalyptiCon starts in a little over a week and boy am I excited about Vintage Space Toast Tour Pasadena. It is said that man cannot live on Botcon alone, so I'll be getting there a little early and vacationing for a bit in southern California. Of course there will be tons of library visiting and microfilms looking in the days leading up to the big show, but there is also more, much more to do! This area is the birthplace of Transformers animation because it's where the building that used to be the Marvel animation production warehouse (where the Transformers cartoon was produced) still stands. There's also the Wally Burr recording studios where the voice actors portraying robot Volkswagens uttered immortal lines like "Come in me, Spike!" oh so long ago. It's the cradle of Transformer cartoon civilization! And how do I know all this? It's because of a man I call a true roboplastic hero-Rik Bakke. (Also, Google Maps).

REACH FOR THE STARS, THEN GET THEM TO MAKE YOU A SANDWICH

Me & Rik @ Botcon '04

If I could award honorary Doctorates from the Kingdom of Macrocrania Roboplasticology Institute of Toy Robots Studies, Rik Bakke would be the first guy to get one. You see, there are those in the roboplastic community who use the power of the internet to enrich the lives of countless other toy robots archaeologists by relating fantastic tales of roboplasticity (and then there's me who uses eBay as a virtual wormhole to visit ancient K-Marts and shop for toy robots tents from 1985). Rik Bakke is one such helpful guy and his site the Cybertron Chronicle is a majestic fountain through which flows torrents of arcane Transformer knowledge while my site is more like a garden hose with an intermittent trickle of blurry Transformers underwear ads from 1986. Rik has done interviews with the creators of the G1 cartoon that have yet to be topped in any medium. You can go to Botcon where there are panels with these guys or buy Transformers DVDs to watch interviews with these guys and listen to their commentary tracks but you still won't get anywhere near the level of information and entertainment that Rik has managed from his questions and expertise. What's mind blowing is that he wasn't just interviewing old Transformers voice actors and writers before interviewing Transformers voice actors and writers was cool, he was going to their houses. When I see Michael McConnohie at Botcon 2009, I may get to ask one fleeting question as he signs my Tracks and Cosmos underwear, but I will never know what it is like to use his toilet.

CONSISTENCY IS VICTORY (AND ALSO KEY TO A GOOD BARBECUE SAUCE)

In late 2002 Rik took a vacation to southern California and toured these places rich in Transformers history. Not only that, but he did it with many people who worked on the old Transformers cartoon as tour guides! He even had lunch with the guy who did the voice of Ultra Magnus. Now I'm not really into the cartoon much but the enthusiasm with which Rik wrote about his adventures makes me want to visit those places. I want to see the buildings where roboplastic history was made and eat at the restaurants where the creators of the cartoon had lunch 25 years ago as they ironed out the finer points of their stories about alien robot Volkswagens from space and their transforming robot Tyrannosaurus cohorts. It would be absolutely fantastic to sit down with some of those robot-related people as Rik did but I don't think Ultra Magnus would want to have lunch with me anyways.



I WANT TO MORE THAN EATS THE PIE

I am really grateful to Rik for all the time he took to chronicle his adventures. So thorough is he that I could print out a couple pages from his site and use them as a map of the toy robots stars homes. Better yet, I could charge random roving Transformer enthusiasts on the street corner for a tour of roboplastically historical sites like the Marvel Productions office building and Ultra Magnus' house. Next week at this time I hope to be having dinner and looking through pictures of toy robots newspaper ads on my camera in the same restaurant where Paul Davids and the rest of the Transformers cartoon production staff did their brainstorming decades ago. Of course there is the possibility that I am wrong and Rik's site is just a Transformer themed viral marketing campaign for Sizzlers restaurants. There is also the possibility me crapping my pants in my signed Michael McConnohie underwear will cause some roboplastic apocalypse and California will nosedive into the ocean. I'LL TAKE MY CHANCES.

SAVED!

We're moving to Miami, Florida! Finally finally finally my wife's job gets us moved somewhere that I am really excited about. I haven't been this excited about anyplace since we lived in Tucson, Arizona. We're not leaving here until June and my wife is still far, far away saving the world from the aliens. She doesn't get back until May so the Prince of Macrocrania and I still have a bit more to go in the ice and the snow. But the move is big news and it's all I think about lately. And the more I think about it, the more I realize it means the end of the road for Please Save Me Robots, which is actually pretty cool.

CLOUD CITY IS ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL THEY CARBONITE YOU

Beginning in 2006 I found myself in an overwhelmingly boring period where I was living in Rapid City and occasionally working in support of the US Antarctic Program. Living near Mount Rushmore and hanging out with penguins might sound fun, but between South Dakota and Antractica all the snow and ice had me feeling like I was living in figurative carbonite. The reason I started bloggering was to talk about my life during this time, or actually to not talk about my life-to talk about anything else. Filling up the hours with poems and stories about Star Wars and toy robots really helped me get through. But as we get closer to the big move it feels like the carbonite is slowly melting.

AND I WENT TO SLEEP WITH A ROBOT ERECTION

I want to thank everyone who ever commented here and made me feel like I was being read by more than the ten friends that were actually tuning in, plus the occasional Megan Fox butt looker. My old ad collecting hobby isn't dying and the Vintage Space Toast Tour will continue. The only change is that between living in Miami and raising my son I won't have the time to write 900 word essays every week about some ad I found for 25 year old toy robot Volkswagens. So instead of seeing PSMR slowly wither away to only occasional postings with half baked content, I've decided to just end it altogether. If I ever do find the time and desire to write again I'll start another blog, probably more focused on the Vintage Space Toaster Palace but not updated anywhere near as often as I was able to manage here. Thanks a lot, guys. Like I said in the Paunch Stevenson Show-you really saved me.

NEXT WEEK: NO WEBLOG FOR OLD ROBOTS (I've got an ad feeling about this)

Starting Monday I am going to go robot free! That's right, a whole week of me blabbing about 80s newspaper ads that do NOT have toy robots in them! Believe it or don't, over the years I've collected some non-robot ads! My knowledge of non-roboplastic toylines is weak, but hey, even I know ads for He-Man 3 packs, the Sears exclusive GI Joe playsets, and figures and vehicles from Dune are pretty interesting. I figured I might as well put them up somewhere so get ready for a week of Please Save Me He-Man, Please Save Me G.I. Joe, Please Save Me Marvel Super Heroes Secret Wars, Please Save Me Star Wars and a whole bunch of other non-roboplastic blasphemy! What can I possibly write about toys that in most cases I never had and know nothing about? I guess we'll see!

Time for snowmen and tacos and ads from the golden age of robos OR: Vintage Space Toast Tour ALASKAPASO!

Sometimes things just work out in a funny way and this month is one of those times. Starting next week the family and I will be off visiting relatives pretty much all month long, traveling high and low and up and down. Consequently I won't be doing any bloggering until I get back after the fourth of July. Everyone else usually stops posting in their blogs for months on end without explanation but I'm so self absorbed that I feel I owe an explanation for my absence to all the people who come weekly to PSMR looking for commentary on everything from collecto-monofranchise-tosis to having sex with cars. Or as I like to say, "Hiatus? I barely even knew us!"

Visiting relatives is actually a cover story because everybody knows the real reason I travel is to get more old newspaper ads for the Vintage Space Toaster Palace. I'm kinda wondering how successful I'll be on the first of our two trips this month because we're visiting family in Anchorage, Alaska. Anchorage may be a decent sized city now, but I'm doubting it had much toy robots action back in the '80s. I guess I'll find out once I get to the library there and crack open the microfilms. I'm wondering if they even had newspapers back in '84 or if they just wrote the news on the shaved bellies of their sled dogs in baby seal blood and let them run from igloo to igloo.

One place I do know had newspapers is the town where I grew up! For the first time since I started my little web pages with old toy robots ads I am finally going back to the place where I first learned the ways of the force! I can't believe that after all these years I've never actually spent time collecting old microfilm newspaper ads in the library of my hometown, the city I grew up in when the toy robots wars of the 1980s raged and raged. After Anchorage the next stop on Vintage Space Toast Tour 2008 is El Paso, Texas! That is bound to be the most awesome VSTP update ever if I don't die of a robo-nostalgi-mania induced heart attack right there in the bowels of the El Paso library with my hand clutching the feed reel of the microfilm machine while a static image of a Robotroid ad from 1983 flickers on the screen. I can think of worse ways to die.

See you in July!

Delusions of fandeur OR: The lots Unicorn

So last weekend superstar of sci-fi/fantasy illustration Darrell Sweet made an appearance at a small art gallery here in Rapid City. Although I never heard of the guy before and I didn't own any of his books, I decided to go support him because I didn't want him to end up the Virgil of Rapid City. In a show of supportiveness, my wife was online all last week buying books that this guy had illustrated so that we could show up with something for him to sign. But she wasn't keeping track so we ended up with two books of The Last Unicorn.

That's Darrell Sweet in the far back (I think). I could have talked to him but what the fuck was I going to say? I am intrigued by your ability to draw deericorns?

Mr. Sweet's first appearance was Friday evening and I was so sure Rapid City would let him down and nobody would show up that I grabbed the wife and baby and we went out there. Yeah, we may have been total posers that never heard of him before but the way I see it, having fake fans is preferable to having no fans at all. It was like we were Batman answering the Batsignal. Somewhere out there, a man needed fans and we would rise to the occasion to help. We were insta-fans. Just add water. It was as if by pretending to be fans we had found our calling, that thing that made us feel special and heroic. Or at least me. My wife didn't really give a crap either way.

The painting in front of us contains a dwarf riding a donkey talking to a knight on an armored horse with a giant goose flying above them all. Behind us that painting is of a girl standing in front of an iguana that has a donkey head and in the sky there's a Winnebago being pulled by three flying horses. Darrell Sweet is an insane genius.

We got there and I was expecting the place to be empty but it was totally full of all sorts of people. The mayor was there along with several city council representatives. I felt dumb thinking that nobody would show up. But then it became obvious to me that these people weren't here for the artist so much as they were just going to get face time with the other fancily dressed Rapid City social elite. That's cool and all but it was kind of sad that I only saw one guy who looked like he really belonged-an obese fellow with a dragon print t-shirt. I thought to myself, this man is a true Darrell K. Sweet fan. All of us fake fans must have been diminishing him, like kryptonite to his fan-ness. As he passed me in the party platter buffet line I felt like he deserved the snack sized ham sandwich wedges more than me.

After the reception was over the gallery director plugged the book signing Saturday and mentioned Mr. Sweet would also be doing a class on how to draw dragons. She announced that as a special treat, the local chapter of the society for creative anachronism would be doing their thing during his appearance. It sounded like a full blown, Sweet inspired renaissance faire. I realized that my services as Insta-Fan would not be needed any longer. When my wife dropped by the house Saturday after Toastmasters and asked if I wanted to get our multiple copies of Last Unicorn signed, I said no. Darrell Sweet doesn't need to sign our books anymore. Besides, I just found a local band on MySpace consisting of one guy who sings while playing his keyboard and a drum machine and he'll be doing a gig next week. HE WILL NEED FANS.

!is it Sweet How

As the local appearance by prolific sci-fi/fantasy illustrator Darrel K. Sweet approaches, I find myself tormented by the idea that if I went to see the guy I would be a total poser because I don't have a single book he did the cover for. This poser crisis has gripped me for about a week now, during which time my wife was Amazoning some books that he did the covers for. I see now that while I was having an emo meltdown over whether or not I was worthy to be in the presence of king of the Deericorns, I should have just gone out and done something about it.

I don't think my self perceived lack of fan credibility is all that crazy. It's important to me to at least be remotely familiar with the work of whatever artist I get to meet, even if we don't really meet and all I do is watch from the back of the room while he teaches little kids how to draw castles and dragons. I like to be prepared, and in the kind of way that shows I know what I was talking about. I just don't want to come across as a fan dumbass. The kind of guy who would ask Simon Furman to sign a Transformers comic book that he did not write. The kind of guy who would ask Yngwie Malmsteen to play Freebird. The kind of guy that would ask James Earl Jones to say "Live Long and Prosper" in his Darth Vader voice (although that would be somewhat interesting).

So Mr. Sweet has done over 3,000 drawings and paintings and I worry that there will be a time during his appearance where he'll look out upon the audience and ask, "Okay now, how many books do each of you have that feature my cover art?" It will be like judgment day, except if god was the guy who did the 1982 Lord of the Rings calendar. And each of the five people in the front row will answer "All of them" while I keep thinking, "Damnit, I should have bought that damn calendar from ebay," and wondering about how to bring up the whole deericorns thing. And when he gets to me I will hold up the copy of the Last Unicorn book my wife bought from Amazon and I will say, "Yes I have had this book ever since it came out and I have no others of your work because I never go outside on account of the furious masturbating I do to your unicorn drawings."

I'm reading the announcement about his appearance and what is especially intimidating to me is the idea that "Teens and adults are encouraged to bring their sketch books for tips and critiques from Darrell." I can totally see a situation unfolding where I am the only guy there without a tryptzillion page sketchbook of dragon and unicorn drawings to be critiqued by the man. And when everybody notices this they will kick me out and I will be pelted with paintbrushes and twenty sided dice. BUT I DO HAVE ONE DRAWING I COULD SHOW HIM.

I am intrigued by your ability to draw deericorns

There's really legendary and accomplished sci-fi/fantasy artist named Darrell Sweet coming to the art gallery here and I would like to go see him. I'm always complaining about how Rapid City really sucks when it comes to stuff I'm interested in but this guy sounds pretty cool so I wonder why he's coming through here. His body of work is interesting and spans many genres. He's done like a tryptzillion book covers and he has a trading cards set and he even did the 1982 Lord of the Rings calendar plus he illustrated an edition of The Last Unicorn. I wish I was more of a fan so I could get all hardcore on the guy, but I'm not. I don't have anything he's done. I recognize and appreciate his talent but I secretly wish he had done something I was more familiar with like maybe an Iron Maiden album cover or at least one Transformers comic book.

We went to the gallery last weekend to check out his works on display and despite my lack of exposure to Sweet stuff I even recognized one cover of a book I read in grade school, but I think I checked it out from the library so I don't have it. My wife noticed she's read a couple of books he did the covers for. But while we were remotely familiar with one or two of the over 3,000 things he's done, we were nowhere near the league of fan that the girl behind the desk at the art gallery was. Holy crap was she hardcore. All of a sudden I found myself feeling inadequate as she went on and on about her collection of this guy's beautiful paintings of winged dogs wearing magician robes and I was hoping with every fiber of my being that the conversation would somehow turn from dragons and unicorns to goddamned Dinobots. Just something I knew more about.

So I went home and I started internetting for information on this guy that could maybe give me a Cliff's notes understanding of his work so I could maybe say something halfway relevant if I were to meet him when he comes here. But about the most interesting thing I found was a message board post where somebody said his interpretation of The Last Unicorn was more deerlike instead of typical unicorns that are drawn more horselike. Deericorns? How is that going to come up in casual conversation?

I did really like the cover to one book he did called "Inherit the Stars" where these two astronauts are burying a skeleton astronaut on the moon or somewhere out in space. But I keep looking at the cover and my eyes jump around, reading the letters out of sequence so instead of "Inherit the Stars" I read "In her ars", which sounds funny to me. I wonder if Darrell Sweet ever noticed that. I also wonder if he was related to Michael Sweet, the lead singer of Stryper. I wonder if he did any Stryper album covers. So far all I have is ars, Stryper and 'deericorns'. Maybe it's best if I stay home, but damnit, he's doing a class for kids on how to draw dragons. If there's ever something I wanted to check out was a class on how to draw dragons by someone who has drawn an assload of dragons.

I am excited about what will happen April 5th. Will I go to the art gallery and see Darrell Sweet? Will a situation come up where I mention deericorns? Will I attend his dragon drawing class with a bunch of five year olds? FIND OUT IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE!

Rejected Transfromer art contest ideas number 1

Botcon 2006-I'm in

Well I got the free time I wanted from work so I sent out my Botcon registration yesterday. I sent it via regular mail with the hopes that I can still make it into the Wednesday customizing class. I called today and the representative said there were four slots left. I'll be holding my breath. I think Shawn's recent announcement of which molds will be used (and all the ensuing board buzz) pretty much guarentees the Wednesday class will fill over the next few days.

I signed up at Primus level and opted for the extra bagged set in addition to the boxed one with the plan of selling them both to offset the cost of attending. I was totally aware that not getting the toys or signing up for the class would've more than halved the cost of attending. Those things are worth it to me for the extra dimension of fun they bring to participating in the convention.

Filling out the registration form was kind of tricky. I had to ask the club what the pre-reg deadline was and whether or not paying the nonmember registration fee made me a club member. So there were some things I think they can make a little clearer on the form. In the end I signed up for the club not because it was something I wanted to do, but because I figured I might as well get something for the extra $40 I would have paid as a non-member.

After the Nemesis Prime situation I figured not giving the club my credit card details was in my best interest so I paid by money order. That means it'll take a bit longer for my pre-reg to get there and people who fax in their preregs with credit card info may beat me to getting those last slots in the Wednesday customizing class, but that's cool. Sending my pre-reg via snail mail and hoping the class doesn't fill is like rolling dice-but I'm feeling lucky.

Working on the CSFs

CrazySteveFigure line latest additions going good. Got the shark dude and the running kid protos just about done. I'm making the shark molds and running kid is coming along. I'm pretty hyped up about the convention season. Don't know how I'll arrange these figures into dioramas but who cares. The important part is getting them done.

Here's what the shark prototype looks like. The idea is to resin cast about ten of these. Make a friggin shark army!