Monday, May 05, 2008

These aren't the Zoids I'm looking for!

I wanted to see that Iron Man movie last Friday but then my truck Optimus Lime broke down Thursday and we had the Omega Supreme of snowstorms Friday so I couldn't get it fixed, then Saturday I got some Zoids I ordered in the mail, but they were the wrong Zoids. It was an incredibly crappy weekend. I can keep a positive outlook in the face of car trouble and bad weather, but getting the wrong toy robots in the mail is a soul crushing avalanche of disappointment.

I found out changing a starter in the snow is easy IF YOU'RE SANTA CLAUS

I've been having such a headache dealing with this online store that's sent me the wrong thing TWICE. They're called Toys N Joys and I'm so frustrated and confused at this point that I'm just going to keep these wrong Zoids. (I'll explain the specifics for people fluent in Zoid. I ordered the Helic Memorial 1983 box and they first sent me Zoids Graphics magazine #1, so I sent that back, then they sent me the Helic Memorial II 1983-1984 box. That's what arrived Saturday.) At this point I've wasted seven weeks dealing with their incompetence, I'm in the hole $100, and of course the set I originally ordered is popping up on ebay now for $75 shipped from someone who knows what they're doing.

But the most mystifying thing about this whole debacle is how I totally fell for their bullshit lies whenever I'd call them or email them about the trouble I was having. The conversation usually ended with something like me saying, "Okay, you sent me the wrong thing, you aren't reimbursing me for shipping this crap back to you, you don't know if you even have the right thing I ordered in the first place, and you want me to trust that you'll eventually get my order right? Okay that sounds good." It's as if I'm talking to Ben Kenobi running a crooked toy robots store and he keeps Jedi mindfucking me through the phone.

An example of ToysNJoys customer service mind tricks

Only now have I been looking at what other customers have had to say about their experiences with Toys N Joys. I wish I would have read beforehand the comment from the guy who wrote he had a "Horrible Experience" or the guy who wrote "They should be called 'toys & migraine'" and especially the guy who wrote "This was the worst experience I have had with any online store ever." I've only had seven weeks of my time wasted by this store. I feel bad for the people who have lost four months dealing with Toys N Joys and their awful online service. How ironic that they have "Joy" in their name and they suck but the guys who have "Bad" in their store name do a good job.

Oh well I say screw it. I'm just wanting to forget the whole thing so I'm keeping the wrong Zoids and never dealing with these scammers again. I'm quitting while I'm behind and cutting my losses. I'm going on ebay and getting the set I wanted. At least now I'll have all ten of the Helic Memorial Zoids that originally came out in '83 and '84 in both the US and Japan. Ordering toys from Toys N Joys was about as joyful as squeezing under my truck outside in the snow, trying to remove the starter while big gobs of ice, snow, water and grease from the engine compartment fell in my face. Dealing with Toys N Joys makes me want to build an invincible suit of iron armor so I can fly to Japan and buy all this crap myself. But mostly Toys N Joys makes me want to cry. Manly tears. TEARS OF IRON.


agentmorris said...

I feel your pain, seriously. I've had some bad luck recently by mail order, myself. One story ended well, the other, remains to be seen. Sometimes internet mail order or just mail order in general can be so shit.

naladahc said...

Wow! I suppose I should be happy we are done with snow now.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

AM, I really hate internet stores that sell toy robots now. I used to do a weekly post I called 'deal of the week' but I stopped because I realized these were less like internet bargains and more like lobotomy-inducing ripoff hassles of the century.

Nala, I've been to some snowy places but this is just ridiculous. The locals say that in Rapid City you can't discount the possibility of snow until May 15th. The locals also say Rapid City has only two seasons-winter and road construction.

Heavyarms said...

Sounds like the opposite of Louisiana's two seasons, Summer and Christmas.

I tried to order an FC Twin (a knock-off NES/SNES console) from them once, but it didn't quite work out.

agentmorris said...

Evil King: It does seem that most online toy stores that sell us our plastic obsessions can't get their shit together.

Lately, I've totally given up on "deals" as well and try to deal only with TF Source, BBTS, and Hasbro Toy Shop. It's hard at times to resist temptation to take advantage of good prices, but I've never had hassles with any of those three. It may cost a bit more in the end, but there are so many annoying things about most other online toy merchants.

Sean said...

I actually had to report Toys N Joys to the Better Business Bureau a couple years ago just so they would give me $100 back for this toy I ordered but never received.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

I think ToysNJoys is proof that there is no god and all of existence is random chaos.


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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.