Thursday, December 27, 2007

WORLD YOU ARE ONLY SIX NUMBERS AWAY FROM IRONROBOHELLACON

Another Powerball Wednesday went by, taking with it a) my dreams of becoming dirty rotten filthy stinking rich and b) my three dollars. So far this year I've blown $30 on Powerball which is pretty bad because I could have wasted that money on other equally pointless paper things like robot comic books. Even though I never win, the time I spend daydreaming about how I would have my own toy robots convention with special guests Iron Maiden and Helloween is priceless. When I think about it, lottery and toy robots are probably my two favorite brown trash hobbies. I do like how with lottery tickets I get to find out I'm a loser within a few days. With buying hundred dollar toy robots that realization takes a little longer to sink in.

I'm going to stop with lotterying not because I lose so much, but because once I win there is no chance to ever get rich and well known off of my own hard work. Any sense of satisfaction I'd have from being my generation's George Lucas/William Shatner hybrid creative powerhouse would be erased. I would always be that guy who got famous from the lottery. So I am going to start working on my webcomic autobiography with the totally original title "Every toy robot is the end of the world for me" and then once that's finished I'll go back to lotterying. Then once I win the lottery you can expect me to finance a movie based on my story, except I'll change the name to "Please Save Me Robots: the Movie" because Jeffrey Brown would probably kick my ass.

Lately I've been keeping every losing lotto ticket because I hope that having these physical reminders in plain sight will keep me from wasting my money the same way again. I don't know how I got that idea because I've tried the same approach with my toy robots collection and I know it doesn't work. Reminding myself I'm wasting money by amassing large piles of stuff is not an effective deterrent because it appeals to my collect-osis genetic defect. Actually maybe collecting losing lotto tickets would be preferable to collecting hundred dollar toy robots. The big advantage is that lottery tickets take up less space reminding me of how much money and how little common sense I used to have.

I guess this is goodbye lotto for now. I need to knock out this one last idea so I can say I was working on it before I was rich. Then maybe I'll give up all my other brown trash hillbilly hobbies like heavy metal, Burger King and shopping at Wal-Mart. Or maybe I'll write a sequel to PSMR the movie that documents the creation of my successful chain of MetalBurgerMart restaurants, the official sponsor of IronRoboHellacon.

3 comments:

ViceGripX said...

This is one of your posts that I really enjoyed reading, want to make a comment about it, but can't for the life of me think of anything witty to say. So, here's me saying I read it and like it and I will see your movie when it's made. In fact, I'll be the first person in line, waiting months in advance, just to help promote it. Guess I did have something to say afterall.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

Well thanks. I like how it came out, too. I was inspired a bit by a post over at Th0r4z1n3's blog. He was writing about this crazy trailer for the upcoming GI Joe movie. It was so out there that I thought the only way it got made was because some demented genius came into a ton of money.

I was feeling like a total chode that day looking at all the lotto tickets I've bought and I started writing this really angsty "I'm such a loser I buy robots and lottery tickets and I suck" sort of post but then I thought-wait! What if I just admit that I love doing these things and be proud of it instead of being all down on myself. Taking that approach made for some fun writing.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

P.S. I felt the exact same way about your last AT-AT post. I was stunned by how beautiful that thing was and I felt like my fandom was enriched by learning about the existence of that model. But I didn't think that writing "Thanks for showing me that" was all that interesting of a comment to make. I guess it happens a lot. We don't know what to write in response so we write nothing, in the end underestimating the value of a simple "I enjoyed that". I guess there are times that I look at the lack of comments I get and I assume I'm not getting through to anyone or what I write really isn't all that interesting to people based on the lack of response. I just remember that I'm not writing for fame or money so it doesn't bother me too much. But hot damn it still bothers me that nobody ever commented on my "king of all robot collections" poem. I thought that was the greatest most interesting thing I've written ever!

 

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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.