Thursday, August 16, 2007

Yay for scalping OR: OMG VHTF TOY ROBTOS from a fart-free home

Whoa I cannot believe how I'm raking in the dough on eBay. I don't mean to brag but recently I sold an extremely rare VHTF GoBots mechanical space chicken (that cost me nine dollars) for a penny. I also sold a couple of EXTREMELY HARD TO FIND jet robots along with a robot monkey (all three originally cost me over $25) all for a whopping five bucks. I think from now on I will just put my money in boxes and send it off to people. But at least I'm not the guy who sold a Super Fire Convoy for four dollars.

During my last round of selling I found myself rooting for certain bidders. I would look at the bid histories of some of the guys bidding on my auctions and I could tell there were some really big fans of the total garbage GoBots and Air Commanders stuff I was selling. I was hoping one guy in particular would win one auction because I could tell he was amassing an impressive collection
of Air Commanders. But he got outbid by someone who was willing to pay me more and I ain't in this to help hardcore devotees of crappy obscure toylines so I'm not too sad that he didn't win. In the end all I want is to have enough room cleared so that I can see the floor of my robot room. I don't give a crap who wins as long as they send me the kitty.

Nowadays it's in vogue to hate scaplers and sclaping toy robots but for me to do so is hypocritical. The only difference between me and them is that people want what they're selling. At least those guys have a plan instead of the bizarrely complex catch and release program my robot collecting has become. Besides, I see other 'collectors' participate in the exact same behavior they bemoan scalpers for but when a collector does it, somehow it becomes 'redefining their collection' or 'refocusing their collecting goals'. Screw that! When I ebay toy robots I call it redistributing crap to those who truly enjoy eating it. I don't need no hoity toity explanation to ease my conscience while I lose money selling GoBot chicken machines for a penny.

One thing that amuses me about other eBay sellers is how they over inflate the rarity of the stuff they bought the other day at their local mass produced retail consumption warehouse. Have you read these auction descriptions? "This shit I found at Wal-Mart is so rare!" And I'm thinking, dude-anything you find at Wal-Mart, by virtue of it being something found at Wal-Mart, is not rare.

And another thing-why do eBay sellers even bother to describe their stuff as Mint In Sealed Box? Sure the toy robots inside may be untouched but hot damn all the boxes look like total ass lately. At least I'm honest with my descriptions. Nobody who had bought my stuff can argue that it came in better shape than they expected. To me, the term MISB used to conjure thoughts of an immaculate specimen of a toy in a case fresh unmutilated package, but nowadays use of the term MISB is at best ironic. They may as well mean Mint in sealed Box of Dog Turds. Why do these boxes look like they got kicked up and down ten flights stairs? And I don't mean little stairs, I mean crazy ass wacko MC Escher stairs. I wish their moms left these sellers Mint in Sealed Placenta.

11 comments:

Heavyarms said...

I bought a G1 Kickback the other day. It came with the box. No tray. The plastic window was coming halfway out. The box was all bent up, creased and faded. He flaps are all torn. But dammit, I got the box.

Rare Wal-Mart toys, now THAT'S marketing.

Artoo Convoy said...

I like to think that the other crazy adult males that are at stores before they open are all scalpers, trying to get to the hot toys before me. That way, I have a face to focus my hatred because I could find that hot new Gadfly or the brand new Poopticon. I'm the only non-scalped that is at stores before they open. No, I'm not crazy. I don't know how those noodles got there.

agentmorris said...

Your description on eBay was fantastic. Thanks for making me laugh today. Great stuff.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

That comment about the Kickback box would have made a funny blog post in itself!

Richard, demonizing the other customers is great! I do that to justify buying the toys that would otherwise go to little boys. I just imagine kids'll probably break this stuff anyways and even if they don't, they'll probably grow up to be the antichirist or something.

Yup, my auction descriptions are an attempt to get the price of Botcon toys to flatline. If anyone does a search for completed Botcon autcions they'll see that listing and if they don't open it they'll think that the 2003 toys must not be in very high demand.

Artoo Convoy said...

Little kids do destroy their toys. That's why it's up to guys like you and me to keep as many toys away from them. I mean, we can handle lead build up better than them anyway. So, why worry about safety recalls? It's not like I suck on my Jazz action master for hours on end. Or do I?

Heavyarms said...

Artoo Convoy: THAT'S IT! You've given me the perfect justification for this "collecting" hobby now that my "It's an investment" argument no longer carries water with my wife. I've got to keep the things out of the kids hands. It's for the children! (dramatic "Soylent Green is people!" pose)

Not to toot my own horn, but I just did a very funny, on topic, relevent comic strip on recalled asian-made toys. The post from August 16 over at my "Well, That's Just Prime!" blog at thatsjustprime.blogspot.com. Okay, maybe that WAS to toot my own horn.

King: Sorry to promote my blog over at yours. *bow*

Evil King Macrocranios said...

Don't worry about your site promotion. I only have about six regular visitors anyways and five of those are guys looking for naked pictures of Megan Fox. I don't know if that's the kind of crowd you want to attract!

Heavyarms said...

Ooooooh, naked pictures of Megan Fox? Where?

Evil King Macrocranios said...

I didn't say I had any, I'm just saying that's what they're looking for!

Rob said...

I have loose Leader-1 and Cy-Kill Super Gobots in great condition. Do you think they're worth anything?

Evil King Macrocranios said...

No, the market for loose GoBots is totally dead. You'd be lucky to get 3 bucks for each of them. But sealed GoBots pull really good money. Nowadays the market for any old toys not in pristine unopened condition is totally dead.

 

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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.