Thursday, June 21, 2007

I did not survive automotive collision repair school for this! OR: ...and I thought G.I. Joe was dumb!

Holy crap I'm reading the Transformers movie adaptation by Alan Dean Foster and he totally fucks up a lot of the details about the military. Like how he's constantly referring to Air Force personnel as 'Soldiers' instead of Airmen. The biggest blunder of all so far is on page 89 when the Air Force Staff Sergent on Air Force One thinks, "I did not survive West Point for this." Please, someone tell Foster that West Point is an Army academy where they train people to be commissioned officers! The Air Force may have gotten super hardcore since I left, but fuck, I don't remember having to go to West Point when I became a staff. Boy did her recruiter lie to her! But what's really great is that now Army privates everywhere who are reading the Transformers movie novel will start saluting Air Force Staff Sergeants. Although enlisted people saluting enlisted people is totally retarded, I say RETURN THOSE SALUTES, YOU AIR FORCE SOLDIERS!

So while Bay is emphasizing "That's why the military involvement was very important, that we make it very real and credible", Foster is whacking off on the keyboard and seeing what splooge sticks as he writes the movie adaptation novel. Air Force Staff Sergeants going to West Point definitely trumps 1974 Camaros with wraparound rear windows as the biggest misinterpretation of reality involved with this movie so far. People who think this movie is military propaganda probably think Pirates of the Carribean is a historical documentary.


gargunkle said...

Hi there. I don't think we know each other, but I have recently found your blog and I find it interesting. (I think it was linked from plastic crack.)

I am an old friend of Malin and I helped do some of the staffing for Iacon One. It was interesting to read your perspective about it.

I haven't read them in years, but I have an entire run of Shogun Warriors comics, and I can tell you that at least at the time, they kicked ass. Maybe it's just you were expecting too much or were not the target audience.

Also, there were some really kickass Micronauts toys. In particular, when I was a kid I played with one of the horse ones (I want to say Andromeda) like crazy. Always wanted a Baron Karza to link up with it. Too bad the Palisades reissues a few years back had huge quality control problems. My main gripe with Micronauts was that by the time I got some of them (Giant Acroyear comes to mind), the safety stuff was already in full swing. Some items I got had the missiles glued into their sockets so they could not fire.

Heavyarms said...

Right. Everyone knows that Air Force noncoms graduate from Annapolis. Duh.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

I thought everyone in Air Force was a pilot!


Minibox 3 Column Blogger Template by James William at 2600 Degrees

Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.