Tuesday, May 15, 2007

If it weren't for Transformer conventions I would never meet anyone outside of my house

The other day I was at Wal-Mart and there was a guy standing in front of the Transformer movie figures in the toy aisle. He was taking a pretty long time and it drew my curiosity. Normal people with only a casual interest would look over the pegs in a few seconds and move on, but this dude was just stuck there looking at the movie protoform figures for at least two minutes. That gave him plus ten super robot toy fan points. He was a kindred spirit, a fellow adult lover of plastic robots (or possibly a passerby struck dumb by the movie toys, which look like armored robot poopies). On one level I was excited at the chance to possibly meet someone with a common interest, but on the other I was pissed off that he was in the way and I had to wait for my turn to blankly stare at the movie toys for two minutes like I usually do.

I considered going up to him and starting a conversation but then I started thinking about all the horrible terrible things that would probably happen, the encounter with die-cast man fresh in my head. The only real robot friends I've made I've met at Botcon or other robot conventions. The special level of batshit crazy hardcore fan that I enjoy being around can only be found in places where there is an intense concentration of Dinobots still in their boxes. Outside of robotroid conventions all I've ever found are scary fans who misremember the amount die cast content in their childhoods. As Protoform Man stood there, I ran through the many different scenarios our meeting could go but they all ended with him coming to my house tomorrow and eating my head. It was possible he was a cool guy but I figured no good could come from trying to talk to him. So I walked away to the aisle where they keep the Alternators toys and I wept a little as I stared blankly at those for a couple minutes, thankful that my head would still be around tomorrow.


B-W said...

"Die-cast Man" and "Protoform Man". I think I hear a They Might Be Giants parody coming on....

"Protoform Man, Protoform Man.
Doin' the things a protoform can...."

Weasel said...

But see, geeks and nerds are just more fun to be around! :)


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