I have written a poem for you my fellow Macrocranians. It is twenty minutes long and it is the sound of the first seal of the Roboplastic Apocalypse being broken. It is also the sound of me confusing myself talking about celebrating the 25th anniversary of Zybots and how Tickle Me Elmo is the most mindblowing toy robot ever.
Or download it directly.
THE 35 YEAR OLD GUY WHO LOVED POWERGLIDE
The Podcastalypse begins with thoughts about some toy robot I got at Wal-Mart the other day but I didn't tell the whole story. Being sick can make me do dumb things so back in November when I wrote about how I fell in love with a big toy robot airplane at Wal-Mart I thought it was the influenza. Ultimately
Someone did not love Powerglide.sanity prevailed and after walking around the store with it all rubbing it and hugging it and professing my undying love for it, I did finally put it back. Then after Christmas it was gone. Lo and behold, I was at Wal-Mart in mid January and that same Powerglide was back on the shelves except the box was beat up and it was repackaged all roughshod and the toy robot was upside down inside and the saddest thing was there was a piece of tape with a portion of torn red and green Christmas wrapping still attached to the back. So immediately I start thinking about that whole "if you love something set it free" b.s. about stuff coming back to you, except in this case it was more like "put it back on the shelf at Wal-Mart and see if someone else returns it". At that point it occurred to me that if I truly loved this thing then I'd buy it now seeing as our love is so true that it came back to me but get this-they still wanted 30 bucks for it! And I'm thinking, hell, there was no way I wanted to pay that much for it when it was brand new, much less now that it's sloppy seconds. There's no way I'd pay that much for a Transformer someone else devirginized. So fast forward to last weekend when I found another one brand new on clearance for 15 bucks. I would almost call it a happy ending but anytime a 35 year old man leaves a store with a toy robot he bought, it's actually very, very sad.
SHOW NOTES OF THE PODCASTALYPSE
HASBRO MAKE THIS TOY
- Opening poem: "The Roboplastic Podcastalypse"
- Little foil 25th anniversary triangles are Hasbro's victory flags from the toy robots wars of the 1980s
- I am hip and cool because I know what a Power Ranger is
- American podcasters love old Japanese robots, just not the American ones (that originally came from Japan).
- Defining Roboplastico and how it differs from the all tickling, all dancing Elmo
- The Powerglide Paradigm
- If I can't be Walter Diakronkite or Tom Brokronoform I'll settle for Gary Gnu.
- Will serious discussion about GoBots cause the podcastoscape to explode
- Better podcasting through Roboplasticology
- It's a great time to be 1985
- Closing poem