The eighth seal of the Roboplastic Apocalypse breaks into a fractured pile of shiny pointy shards of once chromed plastic just like the remains of all my childhood robots in this very special broken toys edition of the Podcastalypse! It's another all poems episode featuring select readings of regretful rhymes I wrote incorporating the underlying theme of mankind's destruction and post-apocalyptic survival within the context of collecting broken toy robots.
Or download it directly
FOR JAPAN SO LOVED THE WORLD THAT IT GAVE US TOY ROBOTS THAT WE MAY BREAK THEM AND KNOW DESPAIR
Toy robots have been responsible for some of my greatest joy and also my deepest sadness. For every feeling of awe and wonder that came from opening a brand new toy robot Volkswagen (or one of his transforming dinosaur cohorts) there was also that equally intense feeling of dread and regret that came when his head broke off. This is my salute to all the rippy cracky rubber tired robots that survived my ten year old Tasmanian devil piranha blender hands. It is both atonement for and a celebration of the countless roboplastic murders and mayhem I have committed. With the release of this episode's hopeful messages of forgiveness through super glue I expect baby Jesus to let me slide for when I broke off Optimus Prime's legs and that time Megatron's arm came off in 1985. However, although I am very proud of the Roboplastic Podcastalypse I am sure that if baby Jesus ever really did put this on his iPod and listened to it he would download me to hell.
THIS SHOW CONTAINS LIVE RENDITIONS OF THE MOST SEVERE KIND FOR THESE POEMS WRITTEN BY ME:
- ATATS
- The loneliness of the thirtysomething gewunner
- better to be transformered
- Loathing Drive OR: I can see your planet dying from here
- Death by Styrofoam OR: I don't want my only enduring mark on this world to be an indestructible shrine to hermetically sealed toy robot Volkswagens
- The rhyme of the modern Zoidoler
- Jesus cut the brake lines when I was driving myself crazy in Optimus Prime
- Untitled (The Roboplastic Apocalypse)
6 comments:
Whether we be your macrocranian subjects, or kings from galaxies foreign and snake mountains soaring, we come for your poems, and you only hurt yourself when you wince as you deliver. Orate with confidence to avoid this podcastical violence.
I would only hump Minmei if that bitch was gagged. Nothing good ever came out of her mouth.
IDK, I kind of enjoyed the meltdown.
Well I know this stuff ain't exactly Shakespeare but I thought the material would sound as wonderful on the mp3 as it looked on the html. I lost my rhythm and my confidence halfway through and I almost didn't even post it but after reading both your comments I feel better. You are indeed my Cybertronian psychiatrists!
NO IM NOT CYBERTRONIAN.
While my kingdom includes cybertronian subjects, we're in quite a different universe. One that will always have free speech and limited drug laws and prostitutes with no end of venom sacks.
WHAT's TAKING SO LONG WE NEED MORE MACROCRNIAN CRACK
Oh hey! How's it going Jack? I was out of town for a little bit (those fight clubs on GoBotron ain't gonna start themselves if you know what I mean) but I'm back now. My regular readers are never vocal about my lack of postings and ever since PleaseRobMe.com made their point about oversharing of personal info I don't give headses ups about when I'm not around. But I'm back and I'll be crapping something out during the rest of this week.
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