Monday, March 07, 2011
When I went to Target the other day I was greeted in the menswear section by a display with a male model wearing Poindexter glasses and a Voltron shirt. Obviously my attempts to rewind the world back to 1985 by uploading thousands of old Voltron and GoBots newspaper ads to the internet were proving successful. Then I remembered that Megan Fox was seen late last year wearing a t-shirt of Voltron that she borrowed from her stepson. I suppose instead of my old grocery store ad induced time travel explanation it is possible Target is just staying on top of all the hip and trendy fashions currently en vogue with young movie star crossdressers. Or given that she was fired from Transformers, it is also possible Megan Fox is actually working at my local Target menswear department.
GOBOTS ARE THE BARRY MANILOWS OF TOY ROBOTS HISTORY
There are other possible explanations. Maybe there's an anti-Transformer backlash welling up and people just want to vote against Transformers by voting for Voltron with their t-shirt buying dollars. Odd as that may sound, it is the nature of fame that once the mainstream public gets their fill of anything super popular they end up hating it after a while. Just ask Barry Manilow. He wasn't always adored universally as he is now. After his super popularity wore off in the 70s there was a long period where the only time you'd hear about him was in the punchline of Murphy Brown jokes. This is not unlike how Chris Hardwick said "Gobots were shitty, poorly animated knock-offs. They were rubbery." You don't have to be a Nostrodomatron to know this same rubbery fate awaits the Transformers. I have seen the future and it's all over Megan Fox's chest and it's in the lyric of every Barry Manilow song you know by heart but don't ever sing out loud when you hear it in the distance while you're shopping for cartoon robot t-shirts at Target. It's been a great ride Transformer fans, but this franchise's popularity has been expanding for a long time now and it's gotta deflate sometime. I'm saying somewhere out there is a multicolored robot monster with five lion heads, the face of a fox and a really big blazing sword about to bust the balloon of Transformer popularity. So if you like the Michael Bay movies then live it up while you can because here comes the big rubbery future. (I will be over here in the corner making Cy-Kill t-shirts and gently weeping while I sing Mandy as I have done every weekend since they canceled Challenge of the GoBots.)