The second seal of the Roboplastic Apocalypse is broken as I battle the mighty Shogun Warriors and thank them for saving a generation of seventies kids who would otherwise have grown up playing with dolly doll dolls and pansy robots!
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CRAYONS OF THE GODZ
Ever since I was a little kid I've had this one daydream I'd dream whenever I was in embarrassing or uncomfortable situations, like when I pooped my pants in first grade or forgot my lines in the fourth grade school play or when I wrecked my first car at 17 or nowadays whenever I'm recording the Roboplastic Podcastalypse. In this daydream I imagine Godzilla explodes through the walls of whatever building I'm in like a terrible green Kool Aid man with atomic laser breath. And then he destroys everything and kills everybody in a two mile radius with his heat rays and patented Godzilla scream and stomping. Once everyone's dead and after everything's been reduced to smoldering rubble, he lifts me up and he bites off the top of my head like how you pop the top off a marker and keep it in your mouth before you write with it. While holding my body like a pencil he then smears my brains all over whatever's left of the nearest wall. It's like Godzilla graffiti with my brains and blood and whatever else he can squeeze through my body and out the top of my skull. The resultant message written in a splattered mess of brain matter and crimson ink would be exactly what we'd imagine Godzilla's terrible screams would look like if he could write them down. Unfortunately this never actually happens in real life and I am left having to live with the horrible consequences of my actions like poopy pants (and this podcast) but I keep holding out the hope that one day if I accept Godzilla as my personal savior he will indeed come and kill me and use my brains as the ink with which he writes his message of love and redemption for all mankind.
A PODCAST IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS (BUT IT'S MADE OF A LOT MORE)
So basically what happened was back in 1972 a Japanese cartoon about a giant robot named Mazinger-Z got made and a toymaker named Popy made toys from it and all the other subsequent super robot cartoons that followed. These toy robots came in two sizes-jumbo two foot tall ones and five to six inch die cast metal ones. Then in 1977, American toy company Mattel distributed these toys in the US and called them Shogun Warriors. They lasted here until 1980 when for whatever reason they got canceled. Now listen to me take 45 minutes to relate that same story I just told in four sentences (and still leave some parts out). As I re-listened to this episode it occurred to me that I left a ton of Shogun Warrior stuff underexplained or unexplored but holy hell it went over 40 minutes already. There will definitely have to be a future episode of the Roboplastic Podcastalypse revisiting the Shogun Warriors but I already promised the next one would be about Micronauts. So much for keeping these Podcastalypses down to 20 minutes! This illustrates how I underestimated three things: a) how much history there is to relate in regards to these old toylines, b) how long it takes me to say something and c) how dumb I am about podcasting.
SHOW NOTES OF THE PODCASTALYPSE
Pose may require hand support-and nitroglycerin
- Opening poem: The Roboplastic Podcastalypse (abridged)
- Aren't you a little short for a Shogun Warrior?
- The dawn of the modern Roboplastic Age-the birth of the Popy die cast toy robot
- Popy's initial reluctance to make Mazinger-Z toys
- The golden age of super robot cartoons in Japan
- Every parent's worst nightmare-Japanese toy robot commercials
- The US toy scene 1970-1976: the era of dolly doll dolls
- Mad props to Zeroids
- Are you a Man or a Machinder?
- Monday morning mecha piloting Mattel's Shogun marketing
- Imaginative play unbound or just an excuse to cross dress your robots?
- Star Wars was the best Shogun Warrior commercial ever
- Original Godzilla toy vs. our monkey faced one
- OH NOW WE GET A CARTOON-the death of the line and Force Five
- Closing poem