The move into our new residence has consumed my life and because of all the unpacking there's still no time to write my usual 900 word dissertations on 25 year old toy robot Volkswagens and their transforming dinosaur cohorts. So in place of my regular robot ramblings here's a couple quick sentences about some other ads not featuring guys whose names end in "tron" or "troid".
People who criticized the toy based cartoons of the 80s for being nothing more than program length commercials would have had heart attacks if they saw this. The shows' aim may have been to promote product but at least in the Masters of the Universe cartoon He-Man never was so shameless as to say "We have powerful weapons and strong armor! We'll get them for only $4.99 each"! And in Return of the Jedi no Ewok suddenly yelled out, "Gather the rebel forces! Only $2.99 having $3.49 to buy each figure sold separately.
Unfortunately the ad didn't have writers as good as the ones from the comics, cartoons and movies. Canon and continuity give way to product promotion when JC Penny is doing the writing. He-Man bragging about how he's going to use the Attak Trak to take Castle Greyskull singlehandedly? Jabba the Hutt, Ewoks and Gammorean Guards speaking English? This is marketing run rampant and it helps me appreciate how much thought went into the writing of the cartoons and movies I grew up watching as a kid. I don't think the toy manufacturers would've created something like these ads if they could get away with it in the production of their media tie-ins. They really did care about entertaining me and making shows that were fun to watch and as unretarded as possible. JC Penny on the other hand only cared that I knew the Attak Trak was $16.99. I still like JC Penny because although their adfiction sucks, they're the only department store with their own Star Wars continuity.