Thursday, August 21, 2008

Returno of Dia de los Dorky Costumes

One day last June I was in Anchorage, Alaska really trying to stick it to the public transportation system. The people that figure out how much to charge you to ride the bus know that the cost of a day pass is equal to how much you would have paid for a round trip to wherever you were going anyways. It never pays to get a day pass but the idea of unlimited rides appeals to everyone's sense of freedom, independence and sticking it to the man even though in practice it's the exact opposite. So I have to squeeze in a couple extra destinations that I never meant to go to just to get that added value out that they don't expect me to use. I was trying to bring the Alaskan mass transit system to its knees by going to Suncoast one last time to check on the availability of Voltron lion force DVD tins.

TEACH THEM EARLY THAT COSPLAY IS WRONG

As I was waiting by a telephone pole in some ridiculously remote part of town that I didn't really need to be at, two kids and their mom walked up to the bus stop to wait with me. I remember the boys were around eight or nine years old and the mom liked to smoke. At first I thought it was odd that one of the kids was carrying a plush Yoshi doll from that Super Marios video game but whatever. Upon further inspection it occurred to me that not only did he have a Yoshi doll, but he was dressed in blue overalls and a red shirt and his brother also had blue coveralls but he wore a green shirt and get this-he had a hat with an "L" on it. So not only did I have red Mario carrying a Yoshi and green Mario, but green Mario must have felt self-conscious because he was wearing a "loser" hat.

COBRA-A RUTHLESS TERRORIST ORGANIZATION DETERMINED TO MAKE YOU WEAR THEIR PAJAMAS


Terrorist Pajamas-Mervyns 21 Oct 1985
This was all pretty strange to me because you've got these two kids dressed like they're ready to get attacked by turtles throwing hammers popping out from the bushes instead of being at a bus stop in the middle of June. When I was a kid we needed a reason to dress up like plumbers and terrorists, like if it was Halloween or bedtime. Now they just do it for no reason. When I was a kid if I liked something I would wear the t-shirt of it, but nowadays the kids have elaborate costumes with props and crap. Maybe we saved the dress up for Halloween because our costumes weren't that good. Then before we got on the bus the red Mario turned to me, pulled out a Sonic the Hedgehog doll from his pants and yelled, "I'M A FAN OF BOTH NINTENDO AND SEGA!" I had flashbacks to that scene in "The Fly" movie where Jeff Goldblum the horrible fly monster is trying to get Geena Davis to shoot him through the head with a shotgun.

2 comments:

Weasel said...

And here I thought my ex was crazed because he made his own Mario hats. Well, he didn't sew them, he just used fabric paint on pre-made baseball caps. He had a complete set up to and including Wario.

One year he actually had someone make him a Mousse costume. Don't know if he wore it; the break-up began the day before that Halloween.

fairplaythings said...

I had no idea there were COOL PAJAMAS LIKE THOSE! What's freaky is that they are so much better than ACTUAL OFFICIAL HALLOWEEN COSTUMES back in the day.

I want the Commander's outfit IN MY SIZE.

 

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