Saturday, April 19, 2008

Tell me have you ever really, really really ever loved a toy robots?

My wife once lost her wedding ring
so I told her I'd buy another
But so many great toy robots came out
that I never even bothered

I had so many toy robots
I could fill a cargo freighter
Our home a toy robots dumping ground
robots in the refrigerator

The house was really dangerous
toy robots covered every inch
One time I couldn't find the baby
the toy robots fell on him

Robot plastic filled up every room
We couldn't use the garage
An outside pile of rusty scrap metal parts
was all that was left of my Dodge

One day my wife was nagging
"We need a new washer and dryer!"
But I told her "HEY! You shut up bitch!
I'm listening to TFWire!"

I told her collecting toy robots
like I did demanded sacrifices
I've never seen a guy with assloads of robots
and also nice household appliances

So she kicked me out of my own home
and she made me go away
and from the public library computers
I saw her sell my robots on eBay

The librarian saw me crying
and I explained why I was glum
He said "You must love them toy robots"
But inside I thought-I hate 'em

I tried to go back to her
and extend the olive branches
I was sorry about the refrigerator
and robot baby avalanches

But she'd found another man
who wasn't no toy robots guy
He kind of looked like the librarian and
their clothes were clean and dry

Once I was a man who had it all
though now I don't have shit
I'm mostly mad my robots collection is gone
I really really miss it


Anonymous said...

This poem makes me sad a little. I ownder if it will ever happen to me. I think I need a new plastic robot to medicate the sorrow my soul now feels.

Moofie said...

The solution is, find a wife who indulges your giant robot habit.

Sorry, boys, she's mine.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

Shanda thought you were funny, Richard. She said we should be thinking about buying our wives flowers when we're feeling sad. I personally don't understand how buying my wife something would make me feel better than buying myself robots, but I just nodded and pretended I did.


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