Sunday, March 23, 2008

MEGABUMMED by the shirtanasia

It's not just with toy robots that I repeatedly buy the same crap just with different packaging. Back in the 90's I used to collect CDs with the same megaidiotic collector mentality. Back in '94 Megadeth came out with their Youthanasia record and I got it on release day, then I bought it again when I saw they made a super special box set version packaged with a limited edition t-shirt. The box cost $24.99 but I justified the expense by thinking the shirt would be awesome and exclusive, but then it turned out that it was extra large and I was lucky if I broke 119 pounds back then. I was megadisappointed, but mostly megadetested by my blind megadedication. They got me to buy the same CD twice, plus a shirt that didn't fit me anyways. I felt so megamanipulated by the Megadeth megamarketing machine that I stopped buying their CDs that year, and after opening the Youthanasia box that one time I put everything back and forgot about it...

...until last week when I bought a new Megadeth CD for the first time in forever and it got me wondering if the Youthanasia shirt fit me 14 years and 30 pounds later. I opened it up and to my horror the Youthanasia CD got stuck to the shirt! After 14 years of being megamushed together, the silkscreening began adhering to the CD case. I carefully pried them apart but there's a lot of megasticky junk on the back of the CD case now. It megasucks! The shirt seems okay and the design isn't noticeably damaged but I still feel dumb for not averting this disaster earlier. I still don't fit in the shirt but maybe in another 14 years I will. This time before I put everything back I'm leaving the CD out. Had I waited longer the CD would probably have been permanently stuck to the shirt. Then in 2021 by the time I'm finally big enough I'd be wearing a gigantic black shirt with a CD stuck to the front of it, plus I'd be bald. I would look like some sort of megaretarded Darth Vader.


agentmorris said...

I've never understood why most free/bonus t-shirts are always sized XL. There should at least be a choice in sizes marked on the packages. Cheap bastards.

Weasel said...

This should probably be titled "How Not to Store a Shirt".

Man, that sucks a fat one.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

Apparently hard rock bands think all their fans are wookies and ogres. Rich wookies and ogres willing to spend $25 on a CD with a shirt.

It's really my fault for not opening things that are meant to be opened. I hope there isn't a secondary market for things like this, or at least not one where people pay a lot of money and expect these things not to be all messed up after 10 years. I am learning that keeping anything in a box is pointless money wasting. It's just making mummies with my money.


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