Saturday, March 15, 2008

I HAVE FOUND MY BOTCON OUTFIT

The last time I went to Botcon I wore my shirt that just says "Star Wars" and some asshole stopped me and said, "Hey dude, I think you're at the wrong convention." The only snappy retort I could come up with was "Fuck you! How about if I punch you in the neck!" It worked good! I guess he forgot he wasn't typing behind a keyboard in his mom's basement. Some people just need to be reminded that in real life it is totally possible to get your ass kicked by a guy in a Star Wars shirt.

So I was wondering what I was going to wear this year when I came across an article that Paul from Toybender wrote about hot chicks that wear costumes at conventions. Just as I had settled on a Slave Leia motif I liked I found the most fuckin' awesome outfit I've ever seen a guy wear ever. It's some sort of Teletubby rock star. It's like he's a survivor of post-apocalyptic Care Bear Land. It's fantastic. Unfortunately my wife says the hair dyeing process would require that I bleach my hair first and it'd probably take over a year to all grow back in, during which time I'd have a black/purple fade that would render me unemployable at any company except Hot Topic. IT IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY TO BE THE HUMAN SHOCKWAVE.

9 comments:

VICEGRIPX said...

If you really said that to the BotCon asshole, you just became #1 on my list of bad asses that I know in real life.

I dig the outfit too. I think it suits you. Well, from a certain point of view.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

Threatening violence against a fellow robot nerd isn't something that makes me a badass. Actually it just speaks to my astounding social ineptness and inability to connect with others. The guy was probably trying to make a joke in his own way and that I went all Han Solo on him was uncalled for. But he was smaller than me and what were the chances that he knew how to fight.

Then again, what if he was Ray Park and I just didn't recognize him? I could be dead!

It's easy to pick on people at toy robots conventions but actually I'm pretty ashamed of it. There are people there that have been picked on their whole lives and they go with the intention of making friends and here I am spewing forth hate and bile and semen at every stranger trying to connect with me. At this next Botcon I promise myself I am going to tone down the hate and bile.

naladahc said...

See? It is because of your thought patterns like this that I am now going to constantly live my life by the motto "What Would Crazy Steve Do?".

And yes. Having spent 1991 to 1997 with various shades of Manic Panic and Miss Clairol while sharing dark hair pretty much like yours did involve me bleaching and dyeing quite a lot.

So much that by 1997 my hair was so distressed and damaged I had to cut it all off and am now just living the happy life of "greying maturity".

However, you have a pretty distinctive look as it is and I'd think you'd end up looking more like Max Sterling if you did it. (Or did you cut off the hair? I can't remember anymore. That's "loss of short term memory maturity" there.)

Weasel said...

So, should I bleach my hair, dye it yellow and black and "dress" like Bumblebee? 'Cause that would be awesome, you know.

(And here I thought I was half-crazy, only wearing Bumblebee shirts and the like during BotCon. Guess I might be kinda normal. Perish the thought...)

VICEGRIPX said...

It was a joke, Steve. I thought it was funny what you said. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry I wasn't clear with my statement. I don't advocate or condone violence, physical or verbal, against anyone anywhere unless it's done in self-defense.

So, while I do think you're a bad ass, it's not because you insulted a toy nerd. If you see him this year, maybe you could apologize and offer to buy him a latte or whatever you kids drink these days.

Besides, it's not like he was Bob Skir or Aaron Archer. :-)

puppylove said...

you can totally bleach it, dyed it purple, and then after wards you can dye it back to black.... just say'in.

Paul said...

You are my new hero. Thanks for the link love, although I could have never predicted that anyone would hone in on that dude.

fairplaythings said...

I'd say you'd look more like Jem's boytoy Rio than Shockwave, but I'm a little afraid of the throatpunchin'.

But seriously, did someone really make such a lame comment about your Star Wars shirt? Myself I hate wearing corresponding shirts to a particular Con or concert. It makes me feel a little desperate. Like wearing a certain Megatron-style Hawaiian shirt to the ball because I don't actually own a decent shirt. Or at least a clean one.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

Yeah, some guy said it to me when I was in the hallway outside my room and he was with a friend. It's funny because I don't expect to get goofed on at Botcon of all places, but I think there's some sort of asshole aura at conventions that makes nerds think they can get away with the same kind of abuse they got subjected to in grade school.

Today I was wearing it as I was picking up the baby from day care and the lady there saw my shirt and said it was nice. So I guess it evens out.

 

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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.