All of my toy robots collecting life has been but a bachelor party leading up to the day I would meet Yamato VF-0S with Ghost Booster toy robot

Back in high school I took night school and summer school classes even though I didn't have to so that I could accumulate enough credits to graduate my junior year. Then having accomplished that I decided it would be more awesome if I filled my unnecessary senior year up with totally retarded stuff like gymnastics and auto body repair. I had simultaneously the gayest and most testoster-iffic senior year schedule in the history of Bel Air high school. One day I'm in auto body class hanging out in the spray booth while one of the other high school guys named Juan is painting his car. As he was spraying the hood I asked, "How do you know when you're done?" To which he replied, "How do you know when you're done taking a shit?" Juan was the mexican Confucius.

So 25 years later here I am and in the mail is a toy robot I ordered from HobbyLink Japan. I wrote about it briefly back in July when I preordered it. The details like the name of it or who makes it or how much it cost or what kind of imaginary airplane it turns into are really unnecessary. All you need to know is this is the greatest thing I've ever bought. I want for nothing else. No other toy robot could ever appeal to me as much as this sexy exciting marvel of roboplasticity does. It's like being engaged. In fact, I am marrying this toy.

tHE GREATEST ROBOPLASTICO EVER

This toy is a life changing event for me. Everything about it is perfect. The jet mode is perfect, the robot is perfect. I no longer need anything else. It has broken me from the bonds of materialism and roboconsumption. It's a strange feeling knowing that I no longer have a justification for working to make money. The only reason I worked was so I could buy toy robots. Liberated from the rat race, I can now fulfill my lifelong dream of leading a wandering hobo Jedi existence, taking my baby son with me to the desert planet of Tatooine and teaching him in the ways of the Force.

I had a Wizard of Oz moment once I realized that thanks to this toy robot I don't need to buy anymore toy robots. In fact I never needed to buy toy robots. Over the last however many decades I've been buying them I could have stopped at any time. It is as if Yamato VF-0S with Ghost Booster was looking at me through its little translucent green visor telling me, "Your robots collection was always complete, you just decided that it wasn't complete enough when you bought something else. The only time your robots collection wasn't complete was when you were in the checkout line at Old Navy or wherever getting another one." I was stunned. I am stunned. But not as stunned as when I looked at VF-0S with Ghost Booster and it said, "Also, right now somewhere in the world someone is eating Taco Bell. Be that guy."

The only thing greater than owning a Macross Zero VF-0S with Ghost Booster is meeting the guy who engineered it to worship him and give him thanks and praise. But unfortunately that is an impossibility even for a wandering Jedi hobo, because even if I did know his name I would not be able to understand it. Because it's in Japanese. Oh who am I kidding, this was probably designed by the wise and wonderful Shoji Kawamori, as are all great life affirming things from Japan. This Yamato VF-0S is so good that if I hadn't already paid for this, I would physically hurt somebody to get one. Kawamori is the Tyler Durden of toy robots design, giving roboplastic form to profound philosophies that change the way I live my life and make me want to punch somebody in the balls. Thanks to Shoji Kawamori and the Macross Zero VF-0S with Ghost Booster toy robot, I finally know I am done. Shoji Kawamori is the Japanese Mexican Confucius.