Monday, August 27, 2007

This is why until I have confirmation that it's a girl I always stare directly at the boobs

When you're a guy with long hair living on any military installation you are in the minority. Ellworth space station is no exception and the only other guy with hair remotely as long as mine is the 80 year old biker guy who stocks the coffee isle at the commissary.

The other day I was pushing the baby stroller on the sidewalks all around the base when two guys came driving by in their crappy Dodge truck. From a distance the passenger couldn't tell if I was a girl or not and he started checking me out! It was weird because I felt like a goat being stalked by chupacabra. Then as he got closer he figured out I was a guy and he winced, shutting his eyes hard like he was trying to get rid of the taste of the unintentionally homesexual thoughts he was having.

Then as they passed by I shouted "You're gay!"


Anonymous said...

Reminds me of a field trip my civics class took during my junior year of high school. The jocks in the class always took to yelling "BUSH!" as loud as they could when they say a hot woman. So, we get to the county/city building in Tacoma and they see someone in high heels and a red dress walking towards the stairs. One of them exclaimed "BUSH!" The person turned around and wouldn't you know it, it was a dude!

The moral of the story, Steve, is to stop wearing heels and dresses as you walk your son around the base.

Anonymous said...

That should have read, "when the SEE a hot woman." Damn blogger and their no spell check.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

I call my current look 'Dark Fabio Skywalker'. Heels and a dress would probably get me less attention as I suspect most of Air Force around here is gay. I like when active duty guys tell me they used to have hair as long as mine. So what? Why do they bother telling me this? I tell them mine used to be as short as theirs, which is one way of saying I'm glad I got out but they never get it.

naladahc said...

Thank you.

I've been depressed lately and this is the first time I really found something funny enough to literally laugh out loud at.

And while I miss my longer hair, it was mostly died jet black then and I looked too much like Ensign Ro from Star Trek.


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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.