Ballad of the Defeatist Completist

Let me tell you my story of collecting elitisim.
Of how nothing good happened when my goal was completism.

I am the defeatist completist.
I collect the robots until it's no fun.
And when I've almost caught them all-
That's when I sell my collection.

"I want my geewun back!" I once demanded without apology,
I wanted old skool toy robots with today's toy technology.

"They should remake all those old robots again and once more!"
Oh how I should have been careful what it was I wished for.

So they brought back those "Classics" and it was cause for celebration.
Because the Transformers from the eighties had very little articulation.

I am the defeatist completist.
I collect the robots until it's no fun.
And when I've almost caught them all-
That's when I sell my collection.

Looking back I had thought my child self dumb
because I didn't care enough to own every last one.
But buying only what I liked was not what I'd become.
Collecting ALL the robots is much easier with adulty income.

One by one they showed up, my classic old friends with fancy new modes.
I was ready with the money and I bought them by the caseloads.

They even made Starscream and Skywarp-they'd make the other jets I knowed.
But how those other seekers came about made my head friggin' explode.

I am the defeatist completist.
I collect the robots until it's no fun.
And when I've almost caught them all-
That's when I sell my collection.

When I almost got them all, the difficulty did worsen.
To want a complete set I must have been a crazy person.

Just when I was almost there-hey I was no robots collecting slacker-
they made a Botcon exclusive out of Classics Thundercracker.

Along with Dirge and Thrust and the rest of the boys.
No way in hell I'd pay over three hundred for only five toys.

I am the defeatist completist.
I collect the robots until it's no fun.
And when I've almost caught them all-
That's when I sell my collection.

"Screw this Classics crap!" I screamed, and then I vowed
to sell off my collection with a low Buy-It-Now.

I know you're not supposed to ever say never
But all I wanted was to forget my failed robot endeavor.

Never being complete may be easy for Tyler Durden,
but knowing all that's out there is a really heavy burden.

And so I found myself following the advice of Stephen Wright-
“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.”

I am the defeatist completist.
I collect the robots until it's no fun.
And when I've almost caught them all-
That's when I sell my collection.