Thursday, February 15, 2007

Wherein I rip off Hoop's gray hair post idea

I remember my first gray hair. I was looking into a mirror in the bathroom of a Ford dealership in Houston, Texas back in July of 1999. It was in my nose. I plucked it immediately with my own fingers and was introduced to the orgasmic joy that is (slightly painful) nosehair picking. Ever since then I play this game I call nosehair olympics when I'm bored where I will pick the longest nosehairs possible for 'points'. Double points if they're white since white hairs are rarer. I think my record so far was a 3/4 inch long monster. I thought it was a tapeworm. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Unfortunately after picking the majority of my nosehairs from my forward inches of nostril real estate, I find I can no longer smell things as sharply as I used to before 1999. That's beside the point. What matters is that later on when my head hairs started going gray I adopted an attitude that at least they're staying with the team. I don't mind if they go gray as long as they're reenlisting. I guess I have a double standard when it comes to gray hairs depending on where they are in my body. I don't care how richly dark my nose hairs are. When they start looking like pubes it's time for nosehair olympics.

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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.