Wherein I rip off Hoop's gray hair post idea

I remember my first gray hair. I was looking into a mirror in the bathroom of a Ford dealership in Houston, Texas back in July of 1999. It was in my nose. I plucked it immediately with my own fingers and was introduced to the orgasmic joy that is (slightly painful) nosehair picking. Ever since then I play this game I call nosehair olympics when I'm bored where I will pick the longest nosehairs possible for 'points'. Double points if they're white since white hairs are rarer. I think my record so far was a 3/4 inch long monster. I thought it was a tapeworm. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME.

Unfortunately after picking the majority of my nosehairs from my forward inches of nostril real estate, I find I can no longer smell things as sharply as I used to before 1999. That's beside the point. What matters is that later on when my head hairs started going gray I adopted an attitude that at least they're staying with the team. I don't mind if they go gray as long as they're reenlisting. I guess I have a double standard when it comes to gray hairs depending on where they are in my body. I don't care how richly dark my nose hairs are. When they start looking like pubes it's time for nosehair olympics.