Thursday, December 28, 2006

Penguins Postscarred

GETTING OFF the nightshift and not going immediately to sleep results in me trying to figure out if my sunglasses or my headphones are the ones that connect to the iPod. So I figured it would be a good time to do computering and postcard writing. Holy crap I just spent 30 seconds wondering why spelling it "postcrad" looked wrong but "postrcad" looked right.

I guarentee if you dig deep enough into the blog of someone currently living on the ice, you'll find a post where they offer to send you a postcard. Why is it that bloggers from Antractica think normal people want their stationary? If maybe this was 10,000 years in the future and mankind has advanced space travel enough to make crappy hotels on the moon and I had a friend who went there and stayed at moon hotel and there are moon postcards-MAYBE THEN would I think a postcard from somewhere is worth having. But what is up with Antarcticans that think people want postcards from them? I postulate that the only people who want postcards from Antarctica are the people who are there writing them. NEWSFLASH ANTRACTICANS-Antarctica stationary is NOT that rare and sought after back in the states. Antacrcica correspondence does not equal the awesomeness that is MOON POSTCARDS.

Even worse than the Antarctican postcard fetishists are people from Antarctica who post their address on their blog so that you can send them stuff. This is dumb because at Atarctica airport you have to meet very stringent weight standards if you want to get out of here. If your bags are over the weight allowance you are (a) not going home or (b) going home without the fifty extra pounds of volcano rocks or penguin skulls or whatever it was you tried to sneak home in your garbage bags. Last year I was eleven pounds over because I was buying up all the postcards, trying to create an Antarctic postcard shortage. When I tried to leave here I felt terrible about it but that kind of shame apparently doesn't bother these blogger Antarcitans. If you see an address on the blog of anyone currently living in Antarcica, may I suggest that's what bowling balls and cinder blocks are for.

I've been meaning to point out examples of people who have done a good job lately of relating the Atarctican experience in the elegant medium that is web internet. Since I blow all my time on the harsh continent reading webcomics, playing with robots and drawing Iron Maiden fanart, I thought it might be cool to check out what normal people are doing here. But I forgot all teh links so you're screwed. Plus I updated Flickr Macrocrania with like 15 more pictures of me in a Christmastime situation or two around McMurdo space station. Also, pictures of penguns. It all starts at the bottom of page four and continues on through page five of the Antartica Summer '06-'07 set.

Speaking of talking rain gauges in Air Force, is up and running, which is cool I guess if you like webcomics about the topic of my true life weather observing experiences portrayed in a hard hitting, reality television documentary style using little plastic army men and Microsoft Paint. It's almost worth going just to read all the crap there that alienated my coworkers and caused awkward social situations in my workplace over the years. If you go there you are the 3rd unique visitor that is not my wife or the suicidal fan of Tranzor Z that stalks me from MySpace. But hey, fans are fans. Who am I to judge.

So in short, if you are in Antarctica nobody wants your postcards and nobody probably reads your blog anyways. Back home people have better things to do like going to Wal-Mart and buying offensive shirts to wear while they throw their Wiis at their televisions. But if you are me in Antarctica then everybody wants to see pictures of you standing next to Christmas trees and they want to read your webcomicbook. Here is my address:

Esteban aka Evil King Macrocranios, SOPP
McMurdo Space Station
PSC 469 Box 700
APO AP 96599-1035

1 comment:

naladahc said...

Penguin Skulls... just a few of my my favorite things!


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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.