So I'm at the library doing the microfilm thing when this late teens/early twenties girl taps me on the shoulder and asks if I could help her out with a problem she's having on her microfilm machine. And she's alright if you're into nerdy chicks. She said her roll was stuck somehow and I thought she should probably be asking the library people about this because whenever I try fixing a microfilm machine it always ends with blood. Well we get to her machine and what she's done to her roll is truly inhumane and unholy. There was bent, folded, spindled and mutilated microfilm shoved in and sticking out of places on that machine where microfilm was not meant to be. Then something became clear to me-not how she did it because my rudimentary grasp of physics cannot explain how this girl warped the very fabric of reality to do whatever she did to that poor roll of microfilm-but that she did it on purpose! She actively sabotaged her machine to be all talking to me. And I said, "Look, I know this is your way of flirting but after what you did to that microfilm there's no way I'm letting you anywhere near my wiener!"
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