The movers have been packing up and taking away my kingdom over the last few days, transforming what was once a vintage space toaster palace into nothing more than an empty room with a bunch of holes in the wall where my shelves used to be. I will miss my shelves and the roboplasticos that used to fill them. But when I think back on my time in Rapid City, my favorite memories are not of the toy robots I bought on ebay or at KMart while I was here, what I will really remember and what makes this move hard is leaving this house where my son took his first steps and laughed for the first time and all the other countless things that make this the place he spent his first two years. I guess I should be used to it since over the last 14 years I've never stayed in the same place for more than three years. Still it is never easy leaving. Moving so much has taught me how to say goodbye but I still haven't learned how to let go. Either the roboplastic apocalypse is upon me or maybe this is just how everybody feels before they move to Florida.
DID BABY DARTH VADER THINK EVERYTHING WAS "MOST IMPRESSIVE"?
My son took one last look at all the robots in the laundry room the other night before the movers came. I know he doesn't have the faintest clue what they are but he still said wow. When the movers came they too said wow (although like the baby I don't think they had the faintest clue what all those toy robots were either). One of the movers asked me what was my most expensive piece-what was the most money I could get on eBay for my most valuable toy robot. I guess this is the gauge by which people measure the worth of something when just being impressed is not enough. We talked about it a bit but all I could think about was if this guy really knew anything about Transformers this collection would not be all that impressive. Still, judging by my toddler son's reaction and that of the furniture movers I think there may be an untapped blog audience of babies and sofa lifters who like robots that I haven't yet exploited. The problem is I wouldn't know how to write stuff catering to this niche market because I've never moved furniture for a living and it's been a long time since I was two.
THE ROAD TO MIAMI IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS (AND PROBABLY MY COLLECTION IF THAT TRUCK EXPLODES)
This is the point where I was sure I would stop blogging for the rest of eternity as I left South Dakota for a life of adventure and excitement like Luke Skywalker leaving for Alderaan (except he took some of his robots with him). This is the point where, stripped of the toy robots that were the source of my blog powers, I was sure there would be nothing to write about and no motivation to continue. But as it turns out the ideas keep coming. Or what I really mean is I keep buying crap on ebay that I want to write about even though I won't have a mailbox anymore soon. So I still have much to write about and there's still a lot of robostastic acropolypses to go around. I'll just be taking an internet break for a few months as we drive down there and get settled and find a nice safe place to live amongst the robot collecting alligators and hurricanes and drug dealers from Cuba. But no matter where I go the writing urge will still be with me and one day I'll have more ideas for you, and you'll have things you'll want to talk about. I will, too. And so I leave you now with something that occurred to me as I was looking at the empty room that once was my very own vintage space toaster palace. My fellow Macrocranians, it doesn't matter how much robots you have or what they're worth in the eyes of babies and guys who move refrigerators, if you like the toy robots you will always be a weirdo.