Wednesday, March 04, 2009

So the guy says "Write anything you want in the block-your name, your wife's name, your girlfriend's name..whatever"And I said OKAY I KNOW WHAT TO PUT

There is a Blockbuster Video on Saint Patrick Street here in Rapid City and I was there the other day renting the 2007 cinematic masterpiece "Transmorphers". When I got to the checkout the guy told me that for a $2 donation to Muscular Distrophy I could get 2 free movie rentals, plus they would put a paper shamrock on the window for me. Honestly I could care less about muscular distrophy but I really wanted to rent Star Wars Episode 3 again. I can never get enough of that movie no matter what language I see it in.



I went back today and there were a buttload of shamrocks plastered all over the store windows but surprisingly very few of them had any names of customers who donated their 2 bucks. When the clerk hands the customers a shamrock the vast majority must hand it back blank and everybody is on auto pilot or something because they actually put those up. It is as if people who go to Blockbuster want to remain anonymous as evidenced by the large number of blank shamrocks on the windows. Apparently employees really don't care what you put and Blockbusters haven't noticed me going to all their different stores because here in Rapid City you will find shamrocks that come from the heart of "Evil King Macrocranios" and "Assless Darth Vader Costume".

PINK HEARTS, YELLOW MOONS, ORANGE STARS, GREEN CLOVERS BUT NO RED ENVELOPES


Once I saw a paper in the street from somebody with Netflix that said if you refer a friend you could get free rentals. I was thinking if I took a picture of all the shamrocks with names written on them from the Blockbuster windows I could do a massive amount of "friend" referrals to Netflix and then get massive free movies forever. Obviously these shamrock people do not have Netflix if they are going to Blockbuster so the probability of them actually joining and getting me free rentals is enormously high. Unfortunately I don't have that paper I found in the street anymore and this is all stupid anyways because I don't even have a Netflix account myself.

ACTUALLY I'MNOT SURE IF JOHN CUSACK WAS IN ANY STAR WARS MOVIE BUT THEY HAVEN'T MADE A FIGURE OF HIM YET SO THAT'S HOW I KNOW

My wife has Netflix but all she orders are John Cusak movies and he was never in Star Wars Episode 3 (I think). Sometimes I see Netflix commercials and it really pisses me off because I don't have it. Maybe I should get the phonebook and call the other shamrock people and start some sort of support group. I hope these guys don't ask who I am when I call because I don't like giving out that kind of personal information. But if they ask what I'm wearing I'll be more than willing to share.

2 comments:

Weasel said...

So, were you able to actually watch Transmorphers? I tried viewing it on YouTube but quit after 5 minutes. (I've seen pornos with better dialogue!)

agentmorris said...

Weasel: Yes, but have you seen pornos with better robots? THAT is the question.

 

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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.