Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Peace (through tyranny) on earth

I saw the American Greetings Megatron ornament last week at Kohl's. I tried tracking down the Optimus Prime ornament last year but I made the mistake of shopping for it in December. I was hoping to catch it on clearance. What an idiot! I should have realized the time for Christmas decoration shopping ends in November. Apparently September is when Christmas starts and black Friday is the new December 25th. P.S. It's October 1st. Halloween is over.

CHARMINGLY FESTIVE ORNAMENTED TREES...OF DESTRUCTION

So I was happy to see I was on the ball this year and I caught Megatron still on the shelves. Then I started thinking, why would I want Megatron on my Christmas tree? Christmas is steeped in symbolism, from trees and candy canes to Santa Claus so did anyone at American Greetings pause to think about how Megatron is robot Satan? He's the Emperor of Destruction! Why would anyone want a little tribute to robot Satan hanging on their Jesus tree? It would make it a robot Satan tree! We may as well hang up little baby Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer ornaments next to our Megatrons, and then after we open our presents we'll set the tree on fire and eat our neighbors and then make anti-matter guns that look like Walther P-38s and blow shit up!

LET'S NOT FORGET THE REASON FOR THE FUSION (CANNON)


I'm a little sad at how commercialized things have gotten. I think the meaning of Megatron has gotten lost in all this holiday consumerism and it's a shame. Megatron is not some cute thing to be hung on trees, he's the exterminator of the human race. But people are so caught up in their traditional holiday shopping and Christmastime domestic violence we forget the real meaning of Megatron. In the All Hail Megatron comic series out now he's singlehandedly responsible for the murders of tens of thousands of people, not counting all the others killed by the Decepticons under his command attacking New York. That's the Megatron we should keep in our hearts (and off our trees) this holiday season. If we're going to be hanging Megatrons on our trees then I recommend that Catholic priests should read a couple panels from All Hail Megatron after they do their gospel readings every Sunday in December. I would go to church for that.

I WOULD HAVE WAITED A NATIVITY FOR THIS


I am not against Megatron ornament. I would really like to get one but $17.50 is a bit much to hang the Emperor of Destruction on a Christmas tree. Those that do pay that much are dorks and posers, so don't do it. Then I will have a better chance of getting it on clearance. But if everybody in Rapid City goes out and buys my Megatron ornament before I go clearance shopping I just want you to know you will be making my Jeffrey Dahmer and baby Hitler ornaments lonely and sad. Forget baby Jesus, do you really want to make baby Hitler cry?

10 comments:

Heavyarms said...

I'll stick with my Darth Vader and Boba Fett ornaments, thanks.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

I thought you'd be all over this. It's essentially downsized Revoltech. Except not poseable. And with a little loop sticking out of the noggin. Yeah I guess I can see why you'd pass.

Sean said...

I'd buy it and I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a poser (seeing as how I've literally been watching Transformers and collecting the toys since I was two). Now "dork" is debatable though.
Good find though. I didn't know these things existed.

naladahc said...

Thanks for pointing these out.

I gotta get me the Megs.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

gOOD LUCK! If this year is anything like last year I can't stress enough that you've gotta go out and get them early. I get the feeling that Megatron is being distributed better than Optimus Prime because I've seen them at two different retail stores so far. Hopefully it won't be as hard to find as Optimus was at retail stores last year and as of right now they're still available at American Greetings online.

Rob said...

If you don't find the ornament, you could just tie a string around the Megatron toy and hang it from the tree.

Weasel said...

Don't you know ANYTHING?!

UNICRON is the Robot Satan, not Megatron! Meggy WISHES he was top of the heap!

Mick said...

Couldn't this be another decepticon plot to take our resources and convert them into energon? When you are sleeping, the mini-megatrons tap into your electrical outlets and make energon cubes for the larger decepticons to take away. I think the plan is ingenious. I wish that episode was on tape somewhere.

Sean said...

Dude, when are you going to do another site update?

Evil King Macrocranios said...

Dude, everybody else goes weeks without bloggering!

 

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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.