Monday, February 11, 2008


I got a blog comment the other day
From a guy who felt toy robots were gay
And that all toy blogging was pointless and lame
And every blog writer's writings just all looked the same

"You're all following the calendar and commenting on news
You're all just fuckin' robots typing out the same views
You all don't really have anything profound to say
other than what toy robots you found at Wal-Mart that day

All you toy bloggers are just self absorbed nerds
Your toy blogs are just piles of self absorbed words
And who are you to think you have interesting thoughts?
That you can write better than the other robots?"

And I started to think about my reply
and just what I would write back to this guy
I started with a sentence I carefully thought through-
I'm the fuckin' King of Macrocrania, who the fuck are you?

But then I changed my mind and that sentence I smote
And I took a hard look at just what he wrote
In some mindless machine was I being a cog?
So I read through the archives of my own blog

Yeah, I don't write about science or new dimensions
I write about comics and toy robot conventions
I write about old broken roboplasticos I miss
I write about having collecto-mono-franchise-tosis

I write about robot Jesus in long poem sermons
I write nine hundred word essays about Simon Furman
I write how loving robots is like having infections
I write about the King of all robot collections

I stepped back and thought about what a great time it's been
And if I'm just a robot blog robot, I like the company I'm in
Because sometimes those robots are the only ones who understand
And they save me, those robots, and I'm glad they're my friends


ViceGripX said...

If a robot falls off the shelf and you're not around, does it still make a sound?

Evil King Macrocranios said...

I think the question is more like, "If I write about robots and rarely get any comments am I really blogging?" I guess having a small audience is a blessing and a curse since the once-in-a-while assholery really sticks out.

You still get massive profundity points regardless.

Weasel said...

I can't help but think that the plastic robots that we hang around have more in the way of brainpower than most normal humans.
And I can't tell if that's really funny or really sad.

I think I just broke my brain on that one. :wanders off to cuddle with her Slumblebee:


I know the feeling. You're the only one responding to my blogs. Makes me wonder if I'm blogging or merely screaming in an empty room.

Rob said...

"If I write about robots and rarely get any comments am I really blogging?"

Replace "write" with "talk" and "blogging" with "podcasting" and you know how Greg and I feel.


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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.