Thursday, December 13, 2007

This interruption in my website is brought to you by I am a friggin' idiot about computers and the internet is smarter than me

This was the day that I was seamlessly going to drop my old domain (wreckerdspecial.com) and unveil the sexy exciting new one. But this internet stuff is complicated stuff and I'm really confused about the complexities of web hostings and how to do domain name transfers and all that crap. Consequently the Vintage Space Toaster Palace has disappeared from internet and I'm getting really pissed off trying to figure out how to get DNSes and name servers and USB ports to all work together in harmony and it sucks. It sucks because the VSTP was starting to get recognized by the one demographic of internet people that I cherish the most-Chinese toy robot nerd message boards.

It just really bothers me that I don't know how to do this stuff or at least figure it out without having to call tech support. I have certain expectations of myself as a somewhat functional human in today's society. Based on how old I am I should be competent enough to figure out how to do things. Like as a baby I expected myself to figure out how to do potty training and as a teenager I expected to know how to drive a car. I don't know why I expect to accomplish these self imposed milestones of achievement-I guess it's what I figure normal people have figured out by those times. All this goal setting only leads to disappointment because even at 6 years old I was still crapping my pants and I totaled my first car within hours of getting my permit.

Then there's stuff I didn't even know I should know but I felt like I should have known it once it came up. Like when the pilot light on my water heater went out last week and I didn't know why there was no hot water so I called the housing maintenance guy over to turn it back on. What an idiot! At 33 years old, after owning and living in multiple houses I should know how to light the water heater instead of taking cold showers until the cavalry arrived. If it were just me I could deal with paying for being stupid but it's especially frustrating because my incompetence now affects not just me but my wife, who probably also expects me to know this crap. Thankfully, me being stupid at internet won't cause her any additional bodily harm beyond the mental anguish incurred from having to listen to me drone on and on about how I'm letting Chinese toy robot message board nerds down.

I know the disappearance of the VSTP was on all the major news networks and CNN broke into their coverage of the latest dead body car crash alien abductions police chases because of it so I figured I'd let everybody know what was up. One day if I ever figure this crap out, this blog and the VSTP will be located at pleasesavemerobots.com. Right now though, I'm so friggin mad at internet I'm going to stab myself repeatedly with rubber nosecone 1984 Starscream, hoping I'll puncture my lungs and die ashamed of my internet stupidity or at least give myself red marks that resemble my previous outbreak of Teenage Mutant Ninja herpes.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hey there dude. I am a regular reader. I work at a web host and I know all about DNS, domain transfers and such. I can help you with any questions or problems, probably.

I think it should reach me if you send to viscous at livejournal.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

Thanks. If I can't get this straightened out by this weekend I'll be sure to ask.

 

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