Flying coach on the pop culture Millenium Flacon to geekland

I was at Borders the other day reading the softcover version of that "Making of Star Wars" book. The book does a fantastic job of telling the story of Lucas' journey from penniless filmmaker to successful multi-dimensional warlord with four heads. While I was sitting down reading the stories of George Lucas and all the other wonderful beautiful talented people who struggled to get Star Wars made, I started getting depressed. Depressed because not only did I miss out on being a beautiful wonderful person who made Star Wars, but also because the Borders I was at didn't have the super deluxe hardcover version of the Making of Star Wars book (with 48 pages of bonus material).The bonus materials in the super duper hardcover are rumored to be so insanely detailed in their description of the Star Wars moviemaking process that you could make Star Wars yourself in your garage with five friends, a digital camera and a bunch of toilet paper rolls. I long for these bonus materials because subconsciously I hope to create a movie approximating Star Wars with them and then escape to an alternate dimension and become their George Lucas.

My Borders did get the hardcover in once, but not on the day of release. The day it came out earlier this year I waited outside the doors for Borders to open, hoping to blow $75 on the hardcover (with 48 pages of bonus material). But all they had was the $35 softcover and I was so pissed I went home mad without it. Then a few weeks later when they did get the hardcover (with 48 pages of bonus material) in, I didn't buy it because I was mad they didn't have it the first day. So I left mad and bookless again even though they had the version I wanted originally. On subsequent visits I would always go to that shelf and be all mad at that book for not being there when I wanted it to be. (Secretly I wanted it to be sad that I didn't buy it.) Then my dysfunctional angsty relationship with an inanimate $75 Star Wars book ended when somebody else bought it and the values system by which I live my life broke down entirely.

I have since forgiven hardcover Making of Star Wars (with 48 pages of bonus material) for being bought by someone else and I was really considering buying the less sexy exciting $35 softcover that other night. According to my internet research, essentially all the extra bonus materials consist of is storyboards-little magic marker looking drawings that outline what happens in each scene. If you buy just the softcover you still get all the heart wrenching stories about Carrie Fisher having her period during the filming of the opening credits and all that. I still feel like buying the softcover is like taking the bus to dorkland while getting the hardcover is the equivalent of flying there. Flying there in the fuckin' Millenium Flacon. It doesn't really matter what version of this book I get I'm still a nerd for buying it. Settling for the second best version without all the super bonus doodles would make me feel like less of a serious fan, but I heard that even the softcovers contain a page made from eight square inches of George Lucas' skin so that one may take the DNA and surgically graft it onto their face and remold themselves in his image.

It's not like I don't know how the story ends anyways. With a title like "The Making of Star Wars" it's pretty obvious that it ends with Star Wars getting made. But in the end, hardcover versus softcover is not what this is all about. It's all about being grateful for the opportunity to thank George Lucas by spending as much money as I can buying this book. We should all be eternally thankful that George Lucas has made it possible for Americans to walk into any Wal-Mart in the country at 3 a.m. and buy Darth Vader figures. What an awesome legacy our multi-dimensional four headed overlord has left us. I guess I could order the hardcover from online booksellers but I believe it's important to me to support the local businesses that don't have the Star Wars books I want. It's important to me to support them so that they will eventually get the Star Wars books I want (with 48 pages of bonus material) and then I will not buy it from them anyways. I believe this because I am insane.