Bots on the Road part 1: Decoding the universal meaning behind the Houstonian civilization's giant space cow

The Drake Equation is a formula some guy came up with to estimate the chances of there being space aliens in outer space that would actually be interesting people we would want to hang out with. It´s pretty complicated but one of the variables in the formula is how many civilizations there are that would be crazy enough to let the universe know they exist by sending signals into space, which is the intergalactic equivalent of getting a MySpace page for your planet. I totally understand why smart aliens wouldn´t want to let anyone know they exist because everytime I put my personal email on the internet I get deluged by assloads of spam. If there are intelligences out there, we don´t know about it because they're keeping to themselves, which is the intergalactic equivalent of spam blocker.

When I am out on vacation I have my own version of the Drake Equation whereby I asses the likelihood that I will have a good time in whatever city I have landed. My equation only depends one variable-the existence of Unusually Fruity Objects at the airport. In my travels I have been found that the best assesment of the attitude of a city can be made by evaluating whatever sculptures they have in their airports. Unusually fruity sculptures tend to exist in insanely awesome, batshit wacky cities. Earlier in the year I spent a week in Pittsburgh and when I saw they had a Tyrannosaurus skeleton in their airport I figured they were either big dinosaur fans or they were sending a warning to any visitng Tyrannosauruses who might want to cause trouble. Here in Houston the airport has a 20 foot tall scultpure of an astronaut cow waving the Texas flag and holding a camcorder. I suspect Houston is telling me that at some point during my visit I will be abducted by space cows and they will be posting videos of my abduction on YouTube.