De-pussification training: Start early
And down will come baby, cradle and all."
To:
"When the bow breaks the cradle will fly
And up will drift baby into the sky."
What the hell? Why did they do this? What is so horrible about the first version? Are they afraid of damaging the delicate psyches of babies that have no comprehension in the first place? Since when did babies become such pansies that we had to make all the nursery rhymes safe and non threatening? This is total baby pussification mind control if you ask me. I have decided to combat these negative influences by coming up with my own lyrics! Whenever I'm putting the Prince of Macrocrania to sleep I now sing this much more manly version:
"When the bow breaks the cradle will fall
So don't let those fuckers bust on your bows!"
6 comments:
And those big Tonka trucks are made out of plastic instead of metal. And Stormtrooper rifles and made out of rubber-bendy plastic. And Optimus Prime has "tardo" stacks. And I'm pretty sure they started to take the transfats out of Oreos. It's what Walton and Johnson call the Pussification of America.
I blame society. They just won't leave any of us alone. We should be islands unto ourselves, nary letting another island interfere with how our islands go about... what the hell was I talking about?
I guess I'll go the easy route. I agree with you.
Wow, Heavyarms. That post reads like poetry!
Boy Richard I am so glad your blogspot page redirects to your Yahoo 360 page. I couldn't figure out how to comment on your blog just via the geocities interface. Now that I know about the Y360 version I'll be able to finally comment.
Glad to finally fix that. I totally forgot I had a blogger account or I prolly wouldn't have bothered with Y360, but I got a good thing going now.
So, comment away!!!
You haven't heard the redone prayer, have you?
You may have recited this as kid:
"Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I should die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take."
Well, those last two lines went bye-bye. Any toy that recites that prayer says: "May angels watch me through the night, until I see the morning's light." No death, no soul-taking, just sweetness, goodness and light.
It's that damn prayer! That whole death thing mentally screwed me up! My parents oughta pay for my thearpy bills! This is their fault! (I kid, I kid... about the therapy part anyway. I born mentally screwed up, as far as I can tell.)
I like the Dave Mustaine version!
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