Monday, July 09, 2007

Thanks to this movie I now live in a world where everyone has retarded things to say about toy robots, but I still don't feel normal

The fewer toy robots you had as a kid, the fonder your half baked memories are of toy robots.

Instead of "toy robots" I prefer the more exotic sounding "roboplasticos".

If the Throttlebots came out today they'd be called Super Bumblebee, Tracks, Sideswipe, Hound, Runamuck, and Orange Long Haul.



Michael Bay's movie robot designs are not just like ZZTop getting a haircut, these are like ZZTop getting a sex change and doing concerts where they put references to lazer tag and Unicron in Barry Manilow songs.

6 comments:

Heavyarms said...

I'm confused, do you not like the new designs? 'Cause I think ZZTop getting a sex change and doing concerts where they put references to lazer tag and Unicron in Barry Manilow songs would be pretty cool.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

I think the movie robots look great in the movie, but the toys have a hard time approximating that same feel and they end up looking bad (wow, just like 1986). So while I'm thumbs pointing up on the movie robots I'm thumbs pointing down on the toys. I still haven't bought any of them and don't plan to. Although if I'm smart I'll just pick up the various movie giftset two and three packs that have been showing up.

Heavyarms said...

I'm trying to make up my mind if I want Brawl/Devastator (have we decided who that is? Hasbro says one, Bay says the other...) and maybe Blackout, but none of the others really appeal to me, either. Now, if I ever see them on clearance...

What is it about the G1 toys that made them so cool? They were essentially just lumps of metal and plastic that could only move their arms and MAYBE their feet if they were lucky. The current crop are superior to the old ones as TOYS in every aspect. I love that their parts are designed to pop off and reattach if "excessive force" is applied. But man, I just can't get excited about them. I'd rather pay too much for a G1 Insecticon on eBay.

Rob said...

Evil King, I can't stand the new movie designs. They look like a hundreds of little metal parts that were randomly glued together.

Heavyarms, the original toys are cooler than the new toys because of the characters they represent. For example, the original Bumblebee toy was ugly, cheap, and static, but my friends and I wanted it because we liked the character in the cartoon show.

Another example is Blaster. What was I supposed to do with a bright red, fake audio cassette player? Nothing. Then why did I want it so badly? Because Blaster was a great character.

The new movie toys are based on computer graphics, not on developed characters.

Evil King Macrocranios said...

The new movie toys are based on the idea that people will buy anything as long as it says 'Transformers' on the box.

Heavyarms said...

That tears it. I ain't a-gonna buy them movie toys. That way, when Hasbro notices I'm not buying their crap, they'll make better toys again. S'gotta work, right?

 

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Evil King Macrocranios was voted king by the evil peoples of the Kingdom of Macrocrania. They listen to Iron Maiden all day and try to take pictures of ghosts with their webcams.